General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
hi im a newbie here ive found this site thru google as i think i am needing an advice right now although i know its not a big deal though but i have this thoughts for over a month now...
here is the story: my husband (european) and i (me asian)are married for about 2 years 1/2 now,we have 1 13months old baby girl,for all the years we've been together i must say my husband is the sweetest and best husband anyone cud ever have,up until now we are like newly weds literally the sweet meter we have is amazing...to cut the story short:my hubby knows that im addicted to facebook and he told me that he "doesnt" have a facebook acct,one day out of nothing i just tried to type my husbands email addres at the search engine of facebook and voila i found his email add having a facebook with a different name,i dont want to ask him or tell him what i did cuz i dont want to sound like im spying on him it is just that everytime he will tell me that he doesnt know how facebook works and tells me that i wouldnt make an account with that or some sort it just irritates me and i am almost to tell him that i knew that he had 1..he always tells me that when i smoke behind his back he considered it cheating,shall i also consider him cheating becuz he's got facebook but he always brags about not having it,and doesnt know how it works..duh!i want to say in his face that i know that he has one but i dont want him to think that im spying on him i know this is nonsense but i need some advice
Maybe he's just embarrassed about it, as he made such a big deal and then caved. Is there any particular reason why you would consider this a betrayal? I can understand the smoking thing as it directly affects your health which could affect your family in the long run, but is there any reason this is irking you? Do you think he's using the page for anything untoward? Is there a trust issue at all?
Have to agree!! It sounds like he really is just checking on you since he is using a different name. Is there anything on his fb page? Does he have friends/pictures on his account? If not more than likely he's seeing why you are soo addicted to fb.
[QUOTE=loren;251838]Maybe he's just embarrassed about it, as he made such a big deal and then caved. Is there any particular reason why you would consider this a betrayal? I can understand the smoking thing as it directly affects your health which could affect your family in the long run, but is there any reason this is irking you? Do you think he's using the page for anything untoward? Is there a trust issue at all?[/QUOT
thanks for the reply...i dont think he's embarrased about it or anything,and yeah there was a trust issue though,3 days before our wedding day it happend that he lend me his mobile phone as my mobile phone that time was broken and there were alot of txt messages which was in their language which by the way i dont understand as we both came from different countries and it just so happen that i have a friend who was from his country i have met the day he lend me the mobile phone,so i was able to ask her to translate it to me and we (my friend who was from his country and me) were shocked about the txt messages we have just read,and the story was; an exchange of txt messages which sounded like the x gf has no idea that "her" boyfriend was getting married with me,so inshort the girl doesnt have any idea that i exist,i tried to not go on with the marriage but what he did was infront of me he called the girl and told her that he is getting married and all,and the girl on the other hand knew about it but she was just waiting for him to tell her and so forth,so you know in my opinion he took advantage of the idea that i dont understand their language so he can do things as he please and with the facebook thing u just hater the fact that he made me feel stupid everytime that he tell me that he doesnt know how it works or something,somtimes im thinking it might the language barrier that makes him not to let me know that he has a facebook account??/but thats invalid reason,he probably has his own reason which i dunno...so there!
Have to agree!! It sounds like he really is just checking on you since he is using a different name. Is there anything on his fb page? Does he have friends/pictures on his account? If not more than likely he's seeing why you are soo addicted to fb.
i dont think that he was spying on me as he isnt my friend on facebook and my account was on private and i even show him all the pictures i have in my account even all the shoutouts that i made....and his account was on private when i checked it and he doesnt have pics or friend on that account as i cannot acces it
I think you should talk to him about it. But if you feel unable to say you typed in his email address, could you say a friend did - someone who would genuinely look to add him as a friend?
I would think this is something you want to discuss with him asap. The longer you keep it inside the more it will eat at you and the more your mind will create answers to questions that may or may not be reality. The bottom line is he's lied to you and you need answers. There is no way he should have a secret FB account. If he's concerned about your FB activity then he should say so and you both should share the same account. My two cents...good luck.
He is your husband!!! You have the right to talk to him about anything at any time that you want to. Definitely mention this to him. I would totally not be okay with it.
thanks for all your replies..yeah i know its no big deal but i really have to let it all out on my stomach,its really making me insane!maybe one of these days though ill just have to think of a better or a nice way to tell him.
thanks for all your replies..yeah i know its no big deal but i really have to let it all out on my stomach,its really making me insane!maybe one of these days though ill just have to think of a better or a nice way to tell him.
I would NOT say this is "no big deal" -- He IS hiding something from you, this is why it IS making your insane. It is normal for you to feel this way. Healthy marraiges, Husbands & wives should be open about all their social networking activites, otherwise it breeds suspicion.
He is not doing this to check up on you IF he knows your profile is set to private (unless he made it not knowing this fact -then abandoned his account once he seen this was not going to help him see your interactions).
Can you view HIS friends ? Does he have many ? If so, he appears to have another little secret life going on there. Why he wants to hide this fact - "could" be unsettling.
It needs to be brought up - Friend request him! That will open up the dialog!
__________________
The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 is available to buy! Love, Sex, Nice Guys, Alpha, Beta, Dealing With Cheating, Oneitis, Sexless Marriages, Sex Rank, Body Agenda, Sexy Moves, Seduction Skills and more! 344 pages of high quality practical information. The MMSL Primer Book
facebook craze!?! 
i know this is nonsense but i need some advice 
