My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!
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Old 02-13-2011, 08:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Hi there,

I'm new here, and I want to get some help with a problem. I'm quite desperate, so any help will mean a lot.

I'm married for more than eight years now, and me and my wife love each other so much. but my problem is that my wife doesn't like to kiss.

Eight years now into the marriage, and she still wouldn't kiss me, not even on the cheeks, not to mention a French kiss. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THAT?

I tried talking to her about why kissing is important to me, I tried leaving it for time, I tried making it spontaneous, but nothing worked.
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Old 02-13-2011, 09:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Well, what does she say when you talk to her about it?

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Old 02-14-2011, 12:49 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Is it a kissing thing or is it that she withholds forms of affection (hugging, snuggling, touching, etc.) as a whole?

If it is kissing only then perhaps she has a concern about germs or some type of actual phobia. If she is simply not a touchy-feely person that is a different type of issue.
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Old 02-14-2011, 01:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

If she has never kissed you or been into kissing then she probably just doesn't enjoy kissing.
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Old 02-14-2011, 07:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

For me, kissing is the ultimate expression of love.

Nothing turns me on more than kissing before intimacy.

I dealt with the same issue, and it sucks.

She would turn her head.....or ALWAYS stop before me.

After she cheated on me, she informed the that the OM was a good kisser. I can't tell you how much that killed me. I know that I am a good kisser, its more about the feelings.
She grew to resent me, so she didnt want to kiss me.
The OM was blowing smoke up her ass, so the kissing felt great.

I recommend you get to the bottom of this. It can lead to problems.
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Old 02-14-2011, 08:52 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

I love to kiss also. My wife hasn't liked to kiss me in a long time either. She may never have. I realized it about the same time I realized she hasn't loved me in a long time either. She may never have.

Connection? Maybe. The worst part is I don't care any more. Or maybe that's the best part...

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Old 02-14-2011, 08:58 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

What are the reasons she doesnt like kissing? Does she say?

I LOVE kissing. I think that its very intimate and should be enjoyed by ALL. However, in my marriage, I still kiss my husband but do not nearly enjoy it like I once did...this is due to all the bitterness I have toward him for hurting me. I find that when I kiss him I cringe. I do it b/c I feel like I "have" to....So this is the issue that Im having to work on myself...

Hope things get better for you.
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Old 02-14-2011, 02:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

I completely understand how you feel. My fiance wont kiss me either. When I try he turns his head. It really hurts me a lot. I feel that kissing one of the most intimate parts to a relationship. I read from another response asking if it's just kissing or if she lacks in cuddling, hugging, touching, etc. My fiance does, and that just put a whole new perspective on my relationship.
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Old 02-14-2011, 06:03 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear View Post
Well, what does she say when you talk to her about it?

C
She just doesn't have an answer. She gets uncomfortable talking about it and walks away.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Frost View Post
Is it a kissing thing or is it that she withholds forms of affection (hugging, snuggling, touching, etc.) as a whole?

If it is kissing only then perhaps she has a concern about germs or some type of actual phobia. If she is simply not a touchy-feely person that is a different type of issue.
Well, now that I think of it, it seems to be both: a withhold from affection and a phobia. She is the type that gets disgusted of germs, so she never touches intimate parts, she does not let me touch her with the same hand that I use to touch her intimate parts, and she never allows oral sex. So, I'm starting to lean towards your theory about a phobia!


Quote:
Originally Posted by notaname View Post
If she has never kissed you or been into kissing then she probably just doesn't enjoy kissing.
I would think so, but again, kissing should be a natural instinct, shouldn't it?


Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesky View Post
For me, kissing is the ultimate expression of love.

Nothing turns me on more than kissing before intimacy.

I dealt with the same issue, and it sucks.

She would turn her head.....or ALWAYS stop before me.

After she cheated on me, she informed the that the OM was a good kisser. I can't tell you how much that killed me. I know that I am a good kisser, its more about the feelings.
She grew to resent me, so she didnt want to kiss me.
The OM was blowing smoke up her ass, so the kissing felt great.

I recommend you get to the bottom of this. It can lead to problems.
I agree with you. Which is why this is driving me crazy.

But my wife would never cheat on me, I know for a fact that she loves me all the way to the core.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MrK View Post
I love to kiss also. My wife hasn't liked to kiss me in a long time either. She may never have. I realized it about the same time I realized she hasn't loved me in a long time either. She may never have.

Connection? Maybe. The worst part is I don't care any more. Or maybe that's the best part...

To me, it is not a matter of love. If she doesn't love you, why is she still with you? Do you have kids? I have three beautiful daughters who have kept us really close.


Quote:
Originally Posted by carebear11 View Post
What are the reasons she doesnt like kissing? Does she say?

I LOVE kissing. I think that its very intimate and should be enjoyed by ALL. However, in my marriage, I still kiss my husband but do not nearly enjoy it like I once did...this is due to all the bitterness I have toward him for hurting me. I find that when I kiss him I cringe. I do it b/c I feel like I "have" to....So this is the issue that Im having to work on myself...

Hope things get better for you.
I believe I'm a fine husband (don't we all ) I never hurt my wife, or at least try not to. Thanks.


Quote:
Originally Posted by les View Post
I completely understand how you feel. My fiance wont kiss me either. When I try he turns his head. It really hurts me a lot. I feel that kissing one of the most intimate parts to a relationship. I read from another response asking if it's just kissing or if she lacks in cuddling, hugging, touching, etc. My fiance does, and that just put a whole new perspective on my relationship.
Well, it feels weird to see a man who doesn't like kissing, I can't understand that.

Last edited by iniazy; 02-14-2011 at 06:34 PM.
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Old 02-14-2011, 07:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

She has deep INTERNAL issues about sex, touching, maybe germs.

This isn't something you can change. Only she can.

What you CAN do is decide if it is something you can live with for the rest of your life. If you can live another 50 years without kissing, do nothing.

If you can't, you have to let her know. And then explain to her that she can either get into therapy (or whatever works for her, but that's what I recommend) and deal with her aversion, or you will eventually divorce her.
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Old 02-14-2011, 07:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Actually, my husband stopped kissing me. Complicated story, but I'm pretty sure it's because he has hyper-sensitive smell. He can smell our cat's catbox that's upstairs in the corner bedroom, IN a closet IN a bathroom, all the way down in the kitchen. He has expressed dismay when I drink wine because he doesn't like the smell. I drink a lot of wine. So, now, he doesn't kiss me. Simple as that.
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Old 02-14-2011, 08:24 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Ooh, I got hyper hearing when I was pregnant. Almost beat some people up at Mexican restaurants for chomping on their chips before closing their mouths! That was 20 years ago and, to this day, I can't handle noise that people make when they're eating.
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Old 02-14-2011, 08:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

I ddint like kissing my husband but thats because he smoked a lot & tasted of stale cigarettes.
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Old 02-14-2011, 09:08 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
She has deep INTERNAL issues about sex, touching, maybe germs.

This isn't something you can change. Only she can.

What you CAN do is decide if it is something you can live with for the rest of your life. If you can live another 50 years without kissing, do nothing.

If you can't, you have to let her know. And then explain to her that she can either get into therapy (or whatever works for her, but that's what I recommend) and deal with her aversion, or you will eventually divorce her.
That makes sense. I can't stand the idea of divorce, because I love her so much, and we have three kids. Therapy probably is the right thing to do, you're probably right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Actually, my husband stopped kissing me. Complicated story, but I'm pretty sure it's because he has hyper-sensitive smell. He can smell our cat's catbox that's upstairs in the corner bedroom, IN a closet IN a bathroom, all the way down in the kitchen. He has expressed dismay when I drink wine because he doesn't like the smell. I drink a lot of wine. So, now, he doesn't kiss me. Simple as that.
Huh! So you can keep the wine till after sex I guess then what's the point, right?

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Originally Posted by Pandakiss View Post
i dont care for kissing either...i cuddle a little, i like hugs...husband isnt a touchy feely person...i am...from time to time...

we kissed when we were younger..but after a while...dont care. like lip to lip fine....i wont open my mouth, and i turn away and give him cheek or the side of my mouth...


i love him all the same...but i dont want to swap spit....i think after i had my triplets...the thought of drool, or anything that comes out of your mouth is...gag...i have hyper smell, and hyper hearing...and i cant stand someone by me chewing food....i can just hear everything....eeeyuck...

just me, but i dont feel any differnt about my h...just keep your spit..
So, doesn't your husband complain? What does he think about that? My wife actually shuts her mouth hard when I try to kiss her lips, so they don't even feel soft anymore.

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Originally Posted by Babyheart View Post
I ddint like kissing my husband but thats because he smoked a lot & tasted of stale cigarettes.
Well at least you have a good reason! I don't drink or smoke.

Last edited by iniazy; 02-14-2011 at 09:37 PM.
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Old 02-14-2011, 09:24 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: My Wife Doesn't Like to Kiss!

If she is that aggressive about not letting you kiss her, you HAVE to have a confrontation about it.
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