Ok, I'm not generally an OVERLY jealous guy to start off. My wife moved here from California two years ago, we have only been married since May of this year and started dating in February 2013.
We have been having some issues with her getting along with my friends wives and what not, so she decided to join Meetup.com. She text me one day and said she was going out on a Saturday night, to a bar/club with some new in town girls from the website. This really didn't sit well with me because I just don't like the thought of my wife hanging out at a bar with some girls from the internet that she had never met. The weekend comes and she ends up not going.
Fast forward two weeks. She joins a young professionals social networking group on the website (this was formerly labeled as single young professionals) that I didn't know about, as I'm not really familiar with how the meetup.com thing works. We get into an argument and she texts me saying she's going out tonight, and that's it. No indication of where or with who, etc. The next day we're out for lunch and she tells me that she had a good time at the meetup.com event and also tells me that it was not a girls night out, there were guys and girls and they went to Dave & Busters to play games and went to a lounge afterward. I'm furious at this point and she says it was strictly a professional networking event and she wasn't looking to date anyone or anything like that. I'm a guy and I know how guys think and she even made a few comments about some of the guys wanting to exchange numbers with the girls, etc. but that none of them did.
Am I in the wrong for really being upset about this? I understand she's relatively new in town but aren't there other ways to go out and make friends that don't involve going to bars and clubs and drinking at mixers? Maybe if she had invited me I would feel different, but that wasn't the case. How do I tell her I don't like the whole meetup.com concept and ask her to delete her account without coming off as controlling or overly jealous?
I'm 29, she's 27.
I go to a LOT of Meetups. Not a single one of them is about meeting the opposite sex. Meetup is not a singles site, nor do they promote that activity. The focus is on groups, not one-on-one..having said that, there are definitely "speed dating" type Meetups, but there's no place on Meetup for a person to enter "I'm 29, prefer my guys to be muscular and am into shopping."
I'm in Meetups where I get to meet other musicians, other businesss owners, other audio designers, other people who own land and are trying to learn how to maintain it inexpensively, and so on. A large number of Meetups do their meetings at bars because those are comfortable environments for folks who don't know each other all that well to meet and discuss - anything.
However - it's entirely possible that her Meetups do have a singles/hookup element.
I would say it's a very innocent question for you to ask "Which Meetup groups do you belong to? Would I find them interesting?" Because Meetup is not at all like Tinder or those other hookup apps.
...and of course now I"m the next one adding to a 2014 thread - because TAM listed it is the most recently-active thread!!!!