General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself!
We are renting a town home. We have separate accounts (not going into details here.) The arrangement is he pays the house bills and I pay the rent. I am not saying that I make more money. But he has lots of debt to pay monthly and has only enough left for house bills. I am debt-free and make enough monthly for the rent and my car loan. The arrangement worked just fine as a married couple up untill he drops the D bomb again at the end of Jan. I don't even bother to know why this time coz he's done it not just once, but 3 times! I think it's time to put my foot down.
Our lease (with both our names on it) will not end for another 8 months. I want him to move out but I can't afford the rent, house bills, and my car loan with my pay. Is it reasonable to ask him to pay half of the expenses while he moves out?
Another plan is for me to move out and pay half of the expenses. But I just don't think it's fair for me. After all, he's the one asking to leave. Why should I pay half of the expenses so he would not get into trouble?
One more idea is to give him 2 months to find a roommate. I will pay half of the expense for that two months. After that he will have to figure out by himself of how to have a roof over his head.
I know he doesn't have money to rent a place for himself. But I don't care anymore after how he's treated me like a doormat w/o an ounce of respect and took me for granted. I've done nothing but good to him. I can't take care of him anymore. I need to put myself first now....
Re: I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself!
Hmm...I understand the dilemma. I really think, though, that regardless of which of you moves out, that person shouldn't have to pay half the expenses. The money being used to pay half the expenses in that house is less money for that person to find another place to live.
If neither of you can really afford to keep the current place entirely on your own, I would see if finding a roommate would be an option. If not, then I would talk to the landlord, explain the situation, and find out if there's any way you can be let out of your lease early. The landlord might take pity on you and let you out without penalty, given the circumstances, but even if not, you can always take a month or so to save up to pay the penalties, and then you would both be free to find new places that you can each afford on your own.
Plus, it might be better to start fresh in a new place, anyway. That way you wouldn't be surrounded by memories of the two of you together.
Re: I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself!
I had the same problem..Husband moved out and I couldn't afford the rent and expenses of the house we lived in. Fortunately I didn't have a lease..It was month to month. I found another apartment and told the landlady we'd be out at the end of the month.
If I were you I'd talk to the landlord. You might have to forfeit your security deposit but maybe you can make an arrangement. These things happen a lot so maybe he'll take pity on you, especially if it's a private landlord as opposed to a corporation.
You might have to suck it up and live with him until the end of the rent. Sounds bad but you can take the time to save up your money and look for a new place. This isn't an uncommon situation with couples who are planning to separate/divorce.
__________________ D DAY: Monday, April 1, 2013 And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
And find the strength you've had inside all along
'Cause life starts now
Re: I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself!
It is not fair to ask him to pay half of the expenses if he moves out. Just as it's not fair that you should pay half. Regardless of who wants to leave.
I agree with the above posters..talk to management and see if something can be worked out. If not, you have 8 months to formulate your plan, and save what money you can.
Re: I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself!
Thank you guys for your feedback. I now think twice about the situation, there's a very big possibilty that I may end up being stuck in the house with him till the lease is up.
I was thinking, if neither of us can find a roomate, I will start paying only half portion of the rent and house expenses. He will have to take care of his part. I can't cover his a$$ anymore if he really wants to be out. I think it's the only fair thing to do if we have to be stuck with the lease for another 8 months. This way, I can also save up some money for my future rental place.
Re: I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself!
My opinion? Absolutely fair. If you're only going to stay in the house for what is essentially convenience, and you'll be separating and/or divorcing when the lease is up, it's perfectly reasonable to expect to split all the common expenses (rent, utilities, groceries if you're going to share them) equally, as you would in any roommate situation.
__________________ D DAY: Monday, April 1, 2013 And now it's your chance to move on
Change the way you've lived for so long
And find the strength you've had inside all along
'Cause life starts now
I want my H to move out, but I can't afford the rent all by myself! 
Seems logical to me! I like the part of saving whatever extra cash you can save to be used for your own place. It's important that you do this. 
