So my husband and I have been together for 12 years. We started dating when we were really young. We just tied the knot a year and half ago. (yes we waited THAT long )
At the same time we've undergone a lot of changes. We moved back home after living across the country for 2 years, I got a new job and we just purchased our very first house.
It's been a stressful time, but we generally like to think of ourselves as a good team. We're both driven, disciplined, etc. But when it comes to our relationship we still clash. Everyday we argue about something. It can be something trivial like dinner plans to bigger things like financial expenses. Either way I feel like it's slow chipping away at both of us. At times I get these feelings of resentment and they get my stomach in knots.
It's not healthy and it's to the point where we argue in front of other people.
Still, we talk about future plans and one day starting a family. But honestly I can't see how that can happen anytime soon as I feel like are arguing would only get worse once a baby comes. Besides intimacy is a whole other situation. We're only in our early 30s and despite being newlyweds there's a huge lack intimacy. I get depressed when I think about how I imagined this point in our lives to be full of love making and excitement considering all that we've been through over the years to what we've been able to achieve together now. But no. It's not like that. People joke about how "we're next" and anyday we'll announce that we'll be having a baby. Oh...if they only knew.
Sometimes I wonder if perhaps we missed the train. Meaning, maybe we waited to long to get married. There's not that level of excitement. Is it supposed to be this way? I'm not the kind of person to give up on anything...especially my marriage. I fear if we don't get a handle on are arguing and are lack of intimacy things will only get worse. Anyone with some advice to impart would be truly appreciated.
Thank you!
At the same time we've undergone a lot of changes. We moved back home after living across the country for 2 years, I got a new job and we just purchased our very first house.
It's been a stressful time, but we generally like to think of ourselves as a good team. We're both driven, disciplined, etc. But when it comes to our relationship we still clash. Everyday we argue about something. It can be something trivial like dinner plans to bigger things like financial expenses. Either way I feel like it's slow chipping away at both of us. At times I get these feelings of resentment and they get my stomach in knots.
It's not healthy and it's to the point where we argue in front of other people.
Still, we talk about future plans and one day starting a family. But honestly I can't see how that can happen anytime soon as I feel like are arguing would only get worse once a baby comes. Besides intimacy is a whole other situation. We're only in our early 30s and despite being newlyweds there's a huge lack intimacy. I get depressed when I think about how I imagined this point in our lives to be full of love making and excitement considering all that we've been through over the years to what we've been able to achieve together now. But no. It's not like that. People joke about how "we're next" and anyday we'll announce that we'll be having a baby. Oh...if they only knew.
Sometimes I wonder if perhaps we missed the train. Meaning, maybe we waited to long to get married. There's not that level of excitement. Is it supposed to be this way? I'm not the kind of person to give up on anything...especially my marriage. I fear if we don't get a handle on are arguing and are lack of intimacy things will only get worse. Anyone with some advice to impart would be truly appreciated.
Thank you!