General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Hi, all, I'm new here and this will be my first thread. My wife and I have been married for 8 months, and she is 3 months pregnant, we've been together coming on 2 yrs. She moved here to Fl. from Va. and now she misses home and wants to go back, since she mentioned this to me 2 wks ago I've tried spending more quality time with her, since I'm so busy and she's pretty needy. Tonight she incenuated that she still may go, knowing that I could never do that, I must stay in Fl and she knows I that. I don't really know what to do. We just got married and she's already implied that she may go back. I'm happy the way things are, of course I would like the situation to be better, we do live week to week and struggle but I'm working on it. My only answers are to dig deeper on trying to make her happier but I'm very concerned I may not learn and act soon enough, anyone got anymore advice?
Hi, all, I'm new here and this will be my first thread. My wife and I have been married for 8 months, and she is 3 months pregnant, we've been together coming on 2 yrs. She moved here to Fl. from Va. and now she misses home and wants to go back, since she mentioned this to me 2 wks ago I've tried spending more quality time with her, since I'm so busy and she's pretty needy. Tonight she incenuated that she still may go, knowing that I could never do that, I must stay in Fl and she knows I that. I don't really know what to do. We just got married and she's already implied that she may go back. I'm happy the way things are, of course I would like the situation to be better, we do live week to week and struggle but I'm working on it. My only answers are to dig deeper on trying to make her happier but I'm very concerned I may not learn and act soon enough, anyone got anymore advice?
sorry this is happening to you.i noticed a lot of women who are close to their familes want to go back and be with their familes when they move away.i was one of them but i wasnt that far so it wasnt to bad,but i was really homesick for two years and it only goy better when my parents and other family members got a vaction place the same place we did and we spent at least every weekend and sometimes a week here and there together 4 months out of the year and then at least one weekend a month during winter including a couple holidays.
i didnt want to move but i did because i love my husband,but i was lonely were we live(in bonnies)and resentment started to seep in,until we got are vacation places.
its hard to give advice and she is way farther away from family then i was,she will not get use to the idea of being away from her family and when baby comes she will miss them more,exspecially mom.
how long have you been living in FL?
maybe give it more time,but in the meantime i would look into moving back to you guys hometown if you want to keep your family together.
sorry,i know its not what you want to hear and not fair to you.
i really hope the best for you both.
HMM She left to be with you... now she is pregnant.. Being preggo is terrifying!!!! Chances are she is scared, and since she has known her family longer than you, that is the safety net. Is it possible to invite family to you for a bit of time? Clue them into what is happening and get help from that side? I am guessing she needs reassurance that you can be her safety net when facing something so incredibly scary as becoming a mother.
HMM She left to be with you... now she is pregnant.. Being preggo is terrifying!!!! Chances are she is scared, and since she has known her family longer than you, that is the safety net. Is it possible to invite family to you for a bit of time? Clue them into what is happening and get help from that side? I am guessing she needs reassurance that you can be her safety net when facing something so incredibly scary as becoming a mother.
this is goos advice.is it also possible her family can come out to visit every couple months or vice versa?
I think if you can get the family to help you out on this, it might go a long way. If they can't visit, or can only visit once... hold off till it's baby time! Have a conversation with whomever she, or you are closest too in VA.
Mmmm... here's something out of left field, and not to scare you, but it IS a possibility.
This may be her first step to leaving you, she's desperate to do so because there's a chance that the baby isn't yours!
Try to find out the reasons why she wants to move back. I'm almost sure its more than homesickness.
You are happy, but really try to figure out if she is happy or not. Ask her directly about it.
She's not very happy, she doesn't like the house we're renting, ans we just moved here 6 months ago, it's our second move, and it wiped me out financially, it took so much time, and I'm tired of moving. I'm a little upset how she changes her feelings about things. When I first met her, she said she was gonna stay in fl for the rest of her life. She's 23 btw, and I'm 28. But overall she's not happy with where we're living, she doesn't have many friends but she's constantly on the phone and facebook, I mean she's still communicating plenty.
3 months pregnant... and I have been there... um... emotions are more insane than can be expressed in type. Something you need to do as a man, since ya know, she is doing the hard part in creating life and living with what I am not sure you can comprehend... suck it up for now... do what you CAN do (Don't bring up the hormones to her, but consider it for yourself) and wait and see where she is 6 mos after birth, then begin to look at what's up.
why can't you move? What exactly is holding you back?
Your wife will need a lot of support when she has the baby and it can be very valuable having family around to help.
The reason I can't move is because I have nothing in va. I already have very little, but there I have nothing. Here I have a job, SOME family, all my friends, and this wasn't part of the bargain, she came here to get away from va, I never had interest in moving, so this put's me on the spot.
sorry this is happening to you.i noticed a lot of women who are close to their familes want to go back and be with their familes when they move away.i was one of them but i wasnt that far so it wasnt to bad,but i was really homesick for two years and it only goy better when my parents and other family members got a vaction place the same place we did and we spent at least every weekend and sometimes a week here and there together 4 months out of the year and then at least one weekend a month during winter including a couple holidays.
i didnt want to move but i did because i love my husband,but i was lonely were we live(in bonnies)and resentment started to seep in,until we got are vacation places.
its hard to give advice and she is way farther away from family then i was,she will not get use to the idea of being away from her family and when baby comes she will miss them more,exspecially mom.
how long have you been living in FL?
maybe give it more time,but in the meantime i would look into moving back to you guys hometown if you want to keep your family together.
sorry,i know its not what you want to hear and not fair to you.
i really hope the best for you both.
Thank you for the input, you are putting ideas in my head, but they're premature so I won't say nothing yet, except that there are possibilities here.
HMM She left to be with you... now she is pregnant.. Being preggo is terrifying!!!! Chances are she is scared, and since she has known her family longer than you, that is the safety net. Is it possible to invite family to you for a bit of time? Clue them into what is happening and get help from that side? I am guessing she needs reassurance that you can be her safety net when facing something so incredibly scary as becoming a mother.
That is some very interesting insight, she has definitely been coming to me looking for reassurance. I'm going to start reassuring her more.
She wants to move 
