Broken, Crushed, Lost, Where do I go from here

Jaded Heart · 03-01-2011, 01:13 AM

After everything and me starting to think he was coming around I was all wrong

Tonight he asked me if I had thought about how I was going to support myself I said NO

Then he asked if I thought more about moving out I said No

Then he said should I move out. I Told him no cause I think we still have a chance to make this work

He then went on one of his .........You did this, and you did that and you shouldn't have done this and you shouldn't have done that. You don't love me cause of what you did ( Had a one night stand 14 years ago when we were on a break from each other he was not living with me )

Little Info , I found out on Jan 19th H was having a EA with his brothers wife. He still to this day will not agree it was an affair !

SO looks like this marriage is over. I'm crushed , I love this man like nothing more. I just never showed him that. He doesn't want to take the chance of trying again cause he says he can't handle it ending badly. The problem is I didn't know anything bothered him from all the way back then till the beginning of Jan

NOw what do I do , all I picture is him telling my 3 babies here at home ages 13, 11 and 3 that he is moving out. It is going to break their hearts.

I think he is being selfish , cause he knows how it feels to be on the other end from when I walked out on him. He knows how it feels to feel the way I do right now. He knows how this is going to break our babies ! But he doesn't care, he just wants to move out and be alone. I told him he is going to regret it, I did when I left and woke up and realized what I did to my H and my children!

How do I get through this, I want to roll in a ball and die !

Why Not Be Happy? · 03-01-2011, 08:08 AM

are you in marriage counseling?
have you asked him what he wants from you to make this work?

Jaded Heart · 03-01-2011, 09:36 AM

He doesn't want to make it work. He says he knows that there is a chance it can work but he is not willing to take that chance. He would rather move out , break his kids hearts , leave a wife that loves and adores him. Lose his house, and everything and have to start over then try or go to MC.

I can't stop crying cause all I see is my kids being broken hearted !

major misfit · 03-01-2011, 10:11 AM

Jaded Heart...I haven't responded to many of your threads b/c I just didn't know what to say. I can't even guess how I'd react if I were in your situation. I have read every single one of them, though.

I guess I'm just wondering if maybe you're beating a dead horse here. If maybe you should just let HIM move out (he's the one not wanting to work on things, he can go) and then maybe..hopefully..he'll realize that he wants to try to work on things after all?

I think this SIL is getting in the way of any efforts you're making here. I'm not sure if he's still "foggy" in this r-ship with the SIL. It takes drastic measures to pull them out of the fog, if that's what it is.

I so understand your pain for your children. But they can be helped through this, if it comes down to his leaving. And I do know this much...if he told me to leave, I'd tell him if he wants to end this marriage, he would have to be the one to go. That I'm still here, still willing to fight for it, and not going anywhere.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I wish I had some good advice for you. There are a lot of people here way smarter than I am, hopefully they'll have something. For now..I'm just going to send you a cyber *hug*