General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Heard on the radio this morning that a 'new study' shows the #1cause of relationship problems now is...drum roll please...FACEBOOK.
I don't get it.
I have Facebook page, but I'm hardly ever on it, don't post much, mainly look to see what's happening with everyone else.
Hubby doesn't even have one - his viewpoint is - I don't want to talk to people on the phone, why would I want to 'talk' to people on Facebook - I don't even want some of them to know where I am.
I have never and have no desire to look up 'ex's' - that's why their ex's - if I still wanted them I would be with them. None of them have looked me up either (don't know if that's a good thing - LOL).
We are all weak, as human beings - there is a lot of temptation out there in the world, why would we open up ourselves to additional temptation?
Don't get it and probably never will...guess I'm too old school.
My wife and I both have FB accounts, and neither of us has had that issue. I do think those who are going through certain things within their relationships, and are vulnerable, are more likely to have FB issues with their spouse. However, that could be anywhere, not just on FB. FB isn't the cause of people's marital issues.
I am not talking about spam or anything. I am talking about friends I added. Girls I knew, old school friends, etc whom we found each other again on the site..., then coffee and the rest follows..
I finally decided to dropped Hi5, myspace and FB on the same line.
My wife and I both have FB accounts, and neither of us has had that issue. I do think those who are going through certain things within their relationships, and are vulnerable, are more likely to have FB issues with their spouse. However, that could be anywhere, not just on FB. FB isn't the cause of people's marital issues.
Not the cause of martial issues - but a new study does show it's the cause of relationship problems.
But of course, like anything, you have to have people with the propensity for that type of behavior anyway.
Some people will cheat at the drop of a hat and others won't cheat for any reason...I'm the latter - don't see the 'need' to cheat - just get out of the relationship then you don't have to worry about hiding, getting outed, etc.
Have NEVER understood why people cheat instead of just leave.
Financial reasons - blah, blah
Kids - blah, blah
Just excuses to me...want to cheat - get out - simple as that (for me at least).
Ok so this week facebook is the number one cause for marriage problems. Next week it might be something different. It changes!
I have seen a friend of mine and her husband marriage just fall by the way side when they were on FB. However like trey said, there were issues there to begin with and I guess facebook didn't help matters.
In addition, FB is one of the best place for starting EA and PA.
One of my friend who is single, use FB as a safer was to get women contact number instead of phone number. He does not take long before he get those girls in bed.
He also adds, old co-workers in old working place, old school friends and went to bed with some of them. This is a real life story am saying!
Heard on the radio this morning that a 'new study' shows the #1cause of relationship problems now is...drum roll please...FACEBOOK.
Not the cause. The symptom.
Quote:
We are all weak, as human beings - there is a lot of temptation out there in the world, why would we open up ourselves to additional temptation?
Not everyone sees temptation around every corner. I can be standing with the hottest, sexiest man alive and look at him and think yah what YOU got? Nothing.
If you have to squirrel yourself away from the world to remove temptation, then it seems to me you OUGHT to be looking long and hard at your relationship and what it ISN'T doing for you.
For me, I quickly keep up to date on my old friends from high school and college. I am able to keep up to date on the life of my sister's exchange student. I got to see pics of my sister's new puppy. I sent a card to my friend whose father is in the hospital, otherwise I probably never would have found out.
DH has a number of ex's in his friends list. They are in mine as well. So what? He doesn't want them. He wants me. That's why they are ex's.
I think USAian society has a royally f'ed up view of relationship by and large. People get married out of some expectation half the time. They don't bother to get to KNOW the person that they are marrying. Many people never learn effective relationship skills because their parents were just as f'ed up. And the only remedy most people know about is cheat or divorce or both.
Not the cause of martial issues - but a new study does show it's the cause of relationship problems.
I would love to see the study that can look into such a complex thing as a relationship and identify this one factor as CAUSE. My guess is that they are using the word very casually.
I would love to see the study that can look into such a complex thing as a relationship and identify this one factor as CAUSE. My guess is that they are using the word very casually.
Once again, people blame something for their problems to avoid accepting responsibility for their problems. (I'm referring to the people in the so-called study)
Facebook is a tool. That's it. Just about anything can be twisted and reshaped to be used to cheat, if a person is determined enough. Just because someone uses Facebook (or e-mail, or a bar, or a disposable cell phone) to cheat does not mean that Facebook (or the other tools) CAUSED that person to cheat.
Cheating is caused by either something lacking in the character of the cheater, or in the primary relationship of the cheater. Instead of looking within themselves or within their relationship to figure out what's wrong and how to resolve it, they instead point the finger at whatever tools they used to facilitate the cheating.
The problem is not Facebook. The problem is that people don't want to take responsibility for their own actions; they want to blame someone or something other than themselves.
Both my partner and I are pretty active on facebook and I don't really have a problem with that. Last night however, a facebook incident occurred that I will need to be talking to him about.
I was sitting on the couch playing on the laptop and he was sitting at the computer. The computer screen is completely visable from where I sit. He was on facebook and got into a photo album of some girl. Not a problem for me. When the news feed says someone on my friend list posted new photos, I am often going and looking at these pictures.
When I got up to walk past him on my way to bed however, he got right out of those pictures saying he was just facebook stalking people checking out pictures and stuff. This really could have been coincidental but it did seem a bit rushed the way he got off. He has shown me pictures of his female friends on facebook before so it shouldn't have been a big deal. I am kind of guessing that maybe he was checking out an ex's page or something that he felt guiltly about it????
I will have to talk to him about it because we're really big on the honesty and no secrets thing. I really don't care if he's checking out what his ex has been up to but I don't like him being sneaky about it. But then again, it could have been coincidental and he was finished looking at the pictures.
Facebook - #1 Cause of Relationship Problems 
