I'v been married 7 years. I notice there is a pattern in our marriage where about once every 2 months my husband will become very stressed and angry and frustrated with either his career or with our housing situation.
During the few days where he goes through this stage he seems to want to blame me and argue with me about it. Even though I know this happens I always seem to get caught in it, because I get angry that he blames me for something I'm not doing.
For example when his boss asks him to work long hours, he will come home and tell me that I better not NAG him because he has to work long hours for a while. I NEVER nag him because to be truthful, I like having him out of the house at these times so I can have some time to myself. I have given him the freedom to work as much as he wants because I know his career is important to him.
Another time his boss asked him to relocate. He was excited about it while I was a bit nervous (but still willing to do it). He told me that I was holding him back in his career, and slowing down his progress by putting barriers up. He couldn't explain how I was doing this when asked. Suffice it to say we fought so much about it-him blaming me for supposedly not wanting us to move and me being angry with him because he was blaming me even though I was willing to move, so we stayed put and I bet he thinks it's my fault to this day.
As for our housing situation, we're looking for a new house and we agree on what we want, but every few weeks he will change his mind about what he wants and then somehow twist it around to make it seem like "I" am changing my mind. I don't know how he does it but I'm so angry that he can't admit he does it. Right now he's mad at me because last night I lost my temper after 3 days of being accused of changing my mind about what kind of house we want. Even though I have told him, "I never changed my mind, it was YOU who changed your mind TWICE in the last 3 days". It's almost like he's insane sometimes. Illogical and demented. I'm just so angry, and I know he's going to want to make up by tomorrow and I will just make up to keep the peace but still be so angry inside. This affects my love for him and my sexual desire for him.
How can I somehow let his blame bounce off me?