Long story short.H. separated from me on Christmas,convinced he wants a divorce.
His Mom came to visit 2 weeks later ,i asked her to help me with the kids because i was not doing well...at all.
She came and I wanted to talk to her about us. I knew that my H. told her that he wants out because he is not happy with me anymore,that I constantly argue with him BUT he did NOT tell her why .
So when she came I told her the whole story and I only wanted to point out that I am not a bit*ch that wants to make her son miserable,that I argued and i accept my mistakes and will work on them BUT I argued for a reasons,his constant lies....etc.I wanted to tell her that I'm a good person,mother and wife and we did have some issues but i am willing to move forward and start from scratch.
Anyway she seemed sympathetic and seemed unpleasantly surprised when i told her the specifics about her son did to me ...She left hugging me and telling me that she and her H. will not get involved and that they respect us both...
2 weeks later I see my H. (came to move us out to another apartment) he looks at me full of hatred and tells me "i can't believe you told my Mother that you'll find someone else"...I was like ""what are u talking about"
.He basically said that this is what she has told him ,i was floored...how could she say something like that.
Than I remembered that at the end of the conversation...after me telling her how much i love him ,how sick i feel ,how i want us to work out...so at the end of the conversation i say something like "you know that's the easy way out ,He finds someone ,I find someone....You don't do this ...you fight for your marriage " So it was not intended to make her feel it's about us , intended it like a thing that people should do.
So out of the whole heart to heart conversation of me pouring my heart out of how much i loved him...and yes we had problems but not a big ones.I even pointed out that I'm a good wife,i never cheated and never intented to...that sich thing never even crossed my mind.....She goes home and tells everyone that I've Said "that" cr*ap.
few hours after he told me this and he said that he couldn't believe that i have said that,he said i couldn't believe you will say such thing to my Mother...he said I know you and i just couldn't believe..i told him that is because I have NOT..she must have gotten very confused....Anyways ..than he looks at me in the eyes filled with hatred and says "can i please my grandmother's ring back" ...the engagement ring that was given to me from him mother 8 years ago...very expensive $15.000 ring.
I immediately took it out of my finger ,in disbelief and was so hurt.It appears his parents told him that I'm going to find someone else and he needs to ask for his ring back.
I guess they were scared that i will keep it!
I couldn't believe that all they cared about is the ring,not the well being of their grandchildren for example.
They have said that they will not get involved and what did they do... fueled him with hatred over things that they comfortably took out of context ....because of the RING.
I have always respected these people, we've never had confrontation about anything,always took care of their needs.
...weeks wend by i decided that i need to concentrate on my marriage and i never said anything about it...i haven't seen them anyways....My 2nd daughter's Bday came and I decided to be the bigger person and despite of how they intentionally hurt me i send an Email to invite them to the party.I was really nice,gave them the address...very pleasant Email.H was actually excited that i will do that because he felt awkward of how to handle them due to our situation.They have never missed a BDay party of the kids...ever.
So what i receive in return??!!...very cold Email informing me that they gave the presents to my H. ...basically "no thanks,we are good"
I was shocked of why would they act like that....
Now 2 months later ,H . decided to reconcile with me.We are getting back together at the end of next month,getting a place together...that's amazing ,I'm very excited about that BUT how to handle in-laws.
Today i received an Email from them,they were excited to see my oldest with H. yesterday,asked me if the presents they gave them were OK..even said at the end..we are thinking of you
...so fake...they know H. is getting back with me and they are kissing my a*ss now....ugh
We will live in the same town,i will have to see them often and I hate that his mother spread this rumors about what I have said,i feel like i want to clear my name...i can forget about the ring and what not but I have been personally attacked from them and don't know how to handle the situation .I can NOT be fake and hug and kiss them (as usual) when i see them .Should I speak to them ,should I tell them that what they did was not right ?
BTW ...they are late 60s,his Mother is very sweet but constantly brainwashed from his Dad.His Dad is very spoiled old guy,who always makes everyone do what he wants to do ,very strong opinions,hard to talk to. I'm dreading a conversation with him,i feel like it won't end well...although he is a good actor and can pretend quite well in front of people and than call them names behind their backs ( i've heard that a few times).