03-24-2011, 06:41 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
| | Re: Getting back together
I know that I am not just a warm body. The thing he had with the other girl was going fine, and I could see them working out, which was the sad thing for me. They share(d) a lot in common. And I eventually just let go of trying to get him back. I mean we still lived together, but it was just roommates. I'd say Hi in the mornings before I left, and I wouldn't worry about talking/texting him the rest of the day. I was going about my life, living for me, not answering to anyone but myself.
I have changed a little and so has he. and I am slowly seeing the changes in him. I have found my own group of friends, I am starting to be more independent. I have learned to let go of things, what happens happens. I no longer constantly remind him of things, I am not his mother. I have become a lot more honest with myself and others. I am no longer afraid to say what I feel.
As for him, he started to do chores around the house, dishes, trash, laundry. He still forgetful about things. I believe this is because of the ADD. He is spending less time with his friends, and more with me. The only contact he has with the other girl is when she mass messages the group of friends on facebook or lunch and meetings with the club. I have let him know that every time he goes out with the group and the other girl is going to be there that it sets me into a panic. So when I ask him not to go, or even when he sees me start to panic, he wont go. My panic attacks have become less frequent.
We have sat down and talked. Setting boundaries for our new relationship. My counselor said this would be a good start. We have also talked about the future, not as in marriage, but just as we grow up and graduate. I told him that I don't want to be with a bum, and that he needed to get a job, graduate, and start taking initiative in life. Since then, he has started to apply for jobs for the summer, and getting his classes for next fall.
I am still living for me, focusing on graduating (1more year!), not thinking about marriage. Sure down the line sometime, but I am not putting it into my plans.