Well has it come to this?
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Old 03-18-2011, 11:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Well has it come to this?

Well my wife has gone way beyond anything I can call normal. My wife was supposed to go to her class on Wed and I met her prior to her going for coffee. We had a few laughs and kissed and said we loved eachother. Well she and I parted way's for a few hours. I texted her about dinner but got nothing in response. I decided since I had to drive that way I would grab us a coffee and bring her one. I got there and her car wasnt in the parking lot and nobody from the class was there. At 4pm my wife texted me "Love you" But I found out that her class was supposed to visit a place and balance books or something. Anyway's I called her friend at like 8:30 to find out if she had heard or seen of my wife. We got to talking about this "Chad" guy and she told me not to worry etc. All the while my wife was there and she way lying through her silly face. I found out about her email and snooped and found that she had emailed her Toxic "Friend" and they said things talking about chad and how my w was going up and things about hanging out there till she could get in touch with him. When I found out I called her friend back and told her that I knew she was there and I knew about the email. I had asked her if there was something going on with my w and this guy if she would tell me and she said no. So I told her about the email that I found and said that I needed to talk to my wife right away or I was coming out there. I told her that I would bring my brother. She took that as a threat and got ANGRY with me but my reason is my brother knows that area more than I do, I didn't make any threats. My bro was unavalible so my dad rode along. I was more than worried about my wife than anything because she has known to dui so I wanted to make sure she was ok. I drove to her friends house and the lights were out and her car wasn't there. I drove by this Chad guys place and he wasn't there and my wifes car wasn't there either. I decided that I would head home and as I was waiting I saw that guys truck. I turned around and followed him and he tried to hide behind a body shop, then drove out and I followed him right up to his drive way. I got out and asked where Chad was and he said he wasn't there. But he looked like the guy in the pictures on w facebook. I told him to step in the light so I could see what he looks like but he refused. I said well does this guy got a cell he gave me a number then was getting ready to go in and I called him on who he was. He looked like he **** his pants. So I went back home and I knew she had to come there or go to work. I waited till it was close to work time since she hadn't come home I went there to wait for her. I was concerned for her saftey because I didnt her or see her at all. When she got to work she was in her toxic "friends" car and when she saw me she ducked down. I followed her to the front of the building and wanted to talk to her. She wouldn't talk to me as much as I tried. I put my hands on her arm in a loving manor and said give me 10 minutes of your time. I then told her that if she didnt change her way's that I was going to file custody of the kids and she woudlnt be seeing them anymore. Her friend said that go for it I wouldn't get custody of my son. I told her friend to mind her own business and that this doesn't concern her and she said it does because my w is her friend. My wife had nothing to say and I saw that she wansn't even wearing her rings. I then left and about an hour or 2 later cops came to the house and arrested me for Domestic, DC, unlawful restraint, and stalking. State didnt have enough for a domestic but my w got some temporary order that say's that I can't go to our house, she has temp custody of our son, and I can't go 300 ft from her work, cars. I can't go to the house without police and prior permission from her. I've been wearing the same cloths for 3 day's and when I called the cops to make arrangements to go over my w wasn't home and that I needed to go through the court because there would be 3rd party which violates my release. My w now has changed her fb status to single even know were not divorced or seperated, as well as many comments from concerned friends and more influence from jerks. One of the toxi'c's said some guy wanted my her phone number. But others have told me that she will cool down and want to talk to me and work things out. I think time apart right now will be fine. Even after all this I still love her and couldnt let her go
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Old 03-20-2011, 06:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

You don't have a question along with your post.

She might want to come back, but this situation is really bad. Check out the Divorce Busting or other material.
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Old 03-20-2011, 11:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

I think for me I'm taking the step in the right direction. Tomorrow I'm calling a therapist and going in for a session asap. I'm also going to also going to go to anger management. Maybe this will show my wife I'm serious about fixing our marriage. My only thing is this stupid facebook crap. It's caused problems with us and her "friends" the fact she made a new facebook as single and her maiden name but still has the old one. Why waste time doing this? I think facebook caused problems anyways. How can I rationalize with my wife when I get to talk to her about a long sit down? What do I say? How do I react? I'm not mad at her I want her to know I want to fix this and it's never too late.
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Old 03-21-2011, 06:58 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

The facebook thing I am kind of over looking right now because I have a feeling she is testing me to see if I would "look into" or make a big deal over things. I'm just giving her space. My friends told me about the second page and it's like whatever. I have no desire to look right now I'm going to refrain from looking because I think it would only stir things up. We have 3 more day's to see what happens. I'm sure her sister has been rational with her as well as her parents. I think this whole thing just got way out of control and needs to be fixed but will have to be fixed by us. She is still my wife and I love her very much. I dont know that she will dump off her toxic friends or what her friend will say if she decides to stay with me. People tell me prepare for the worst because if I set myself up for failure it will only be that much harder on me. It's been 7 day's since I've seen or talked to her and people are being quiet. I don't know who she has talked to I don't know what people are telling her. I hate pressing the issues but I have to know for my own mental well being. But I really find myself talking to everyone about it just to get different opinions. This is really hard for me because from past experiences I think that we will be together again. I just know that this time maybe just what we need before we make any harsh decisions regarding our relationship.
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Old 03-21-2011, 07:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

I really feel for you. My advice is for you to get a lawyer as soon as possible (if you haven't already). There's no need for her to be holding all the cards.
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Old 03-21-2011, 10:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

So now you have a criminal record because of this woman? I will never understand why people would want you in this situation. It's clear she has no issues with ruining your life. RUN AWAY!
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Old 03-21-2011, 12:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

I have been confronted with something akin to that. She's a tyrant and she's very good at it. My wife doesn't want a husband or a lover or a man. She wants a terrified employee. Someone to have the power of life and death over.
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Old 03-21-2011, 07:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Well has it come to this?

I dont know what to say she has yet to file papers with the court. I was visiting my son today which was good. It's different not being able to put him to bed or have the same things we used to do. I don't know if my wife is erasing me from her existence. It's just difficult for me right now because I'm a wreck. I hope she is taking the time to think things over. Because I myself am as well I'm going to get counseling and I hope she does too. I want to go back to couple counseling as well when we work things out. I just really miss my wife. It's hard not having my best friend and having that love as well. I mean I'm still wearing my wedding ring. But I've heard she is not. Guess it doesn't mean anything to her.

Last edited by NightEagle1981; 03-22-2011 at 12:34 AM.
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