Re: What did i do?
I think your w is looking to even *her* playing field.
If you get yours then she can get hers. so stay away from the 3some enless you don't mind sharing your wife with other guys.
I feel this is a set up on your W part in order for her to go out and get some, she will continue to throw this back in your face when ever you have an issue with her behavior with regards to her and OM's.
Rules and boundries would need to be set in place, but I think its way to heavy on the marriage, especialy if she has had some past experiences that were questionable.
Again I think she's looking for leveage on munipulating you.