KOLIE

My husband and I have been married for about 2 years now. I have always known that he admires women cause he has pictures of different models on his computer and on his fb page. Before we got married he was going out with a girl who broke up with him and went after someone else. Then he met me and we were going out, during our relationship he got a job in a high paying company. All of a sudden his ex shows up and requests that they continue their relationship. My husband disagreed, but i noticed in the course of our relationship, he was still seeing her. I had absolutely nothing against it, then we got married. My husband has girls as friends. At first during the first few months of our marriage he would be hiding his phones and his fb page from me, this made me suspicious so i confronted him and of course he denied, and said i was reading meaning into little things. At times when i wake up at 2am, he'd be in the toilet sending text messages or making silent calls. I confronted him again, but instead of letting us discuss he flares up. So one day i picked up his phone and read all his texts. He was still in contact with his ex girlfriend, scheduling meetings with her. I decided to show him the text messages and he said yes that they've been seeing each other. that because of the way i would feel he wasn't telling me. he said they were just friends. I wasn't comfortable with it, because i was now seeing her as being desperate, but the unfortunate thing was that he was seeing that. He kept saying nothing can happen between them, that they're just friends. I still wasn't comfortable, so i told him that he should let me know anytime he wants to go and see her. that by hiding it he's making things worse. He agreed. Nothing was said about her since then. Only for him to leave his fb open and see all the messages they 've been exchanging.
How he finds her so beautiful and loves her pictures and misses her. n.b My hubby has never paid me a compliment, he has never told me he misses, loves me unless i tell him first. The hurtful part is that when they saw last she said he left her wet and he replied you left me hard. I haven't been able to erase it since then. i am hurt and my trust for him as been totally destroyed. What can i do?

Chris Taylor

he's showing no respect for you, but you "trained" him that way.

You had nothing against it before you were married, his thinking is why should you have a problem with it now?

They are more than just friends and you have to put your foot down. Counseling is probably the best way to go otherwise you just drive his behavior underground.

Rob774

I agree with Chris. I man can't do ANYTHING that you don't allow. Not only did you allow it initially... you rubberstamped it to continue. Like giving the fox the keys to the hen house. Your hubby is a creep, whose openly having an EA right in front of your eyes. But you have to to take some blame too, because forever the reason, you didn't "squash" this when you had the chance. All you did is compromise your position as a strong woman. Regain your identidy and end this.