[Jaded Heart]

The past few days have been pure hell. I'm now in the angry stage , H and I got in a pretty big fight on Saturday where he proceeded to tell me that even though we were not together he still says I cheated on him 3 times.
1. when I had my one night stand , we were not together
2. we had been apart 5 months and I was with a guy that I have a son with, this guy has never been in our lives and H raised my son since birth
3. When I left him in 2005 and had a EA with a guy that lives in PA I'm in Canada

At first I didn't think about it, but then I thought WTH he had a gf when we were apart during the first 2 times I explained. Then his EA that he just had with his brothers wife. If anything he is the one that cheated cause we were still together when he was in his EA. He still won't say he had an EA, he doesn't see it like me.

Then today angry still, I get in a argument with my son. He is 13, him and his brother got in a fight and I would not side with either of them cause I didn't know who was telling me the truth. I grounded both of them from the Internet, Phone and told my older son (13) that he will not be allowed to go to youth. He proceeded to tell me he can do what he wants when he wants. So I called H and he goes on about how I'm mean and blah blah blah. I can already see how this is going to turn out! My son is going to play his dad and me against each other. Just like my older daughters did when I left in 2005. H has been going for a week now and my 3 older daughters have yet to talk to me, then walk by my house all the time and see me outside and don't even say anything.

H told me he doesn't want a Divorce , but I'm done I found out he was lying to me again about talking to the OW , he says to me " I can't even be friends with her cause of you" I told him you can do what you want. I didn't want to file for a Divorce cause I had hopes we could get through this but now I don't want to. He is using things over my head, saying if I go to court there will never been me and him. If I do this there will never be a me and him!

I DONE , I"M FILING !