03-24-2011, 03:01 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
| | Re: Really Stupid Problem
It sounds like she is having severe self esteem issues and possibly depression. Perhaps you could encourage her to see a therapist or even the family md for medication. She should also be getting daily cardio exercise--at least 30 min--that will release some feel good chemicals and she will feel better about herself as well. Other than that, continue to show that you are still attracted to her, maybe buy her gifts such as jewelry, clothes, lingerie--anything to show you are still attracted to her. Also keep in close contact so she knows where you are--don't disappear unexplained.
Women face constant brutal assaults on our physical self esteem. I can't stand in a grocery line or open up comcast web page for world news without being bombarded with pics of the latest hot babe in bikinis. We are constantly told we are not attractive enough but can fix that by buying some product or service. It really is a racket and we are all hooked for life.
It will take some energy from you, but you can help her heal some of those wounds these things inflict on women. At the end of the day, though, she is going to have to have courage and face her own issues.
And please, don't check out other women when you are together. That is absolute homicide to women with a delicate self esteem. Remember she is hurting...as women we are taught that our main value lies in our appearance, and attempting to measure up to impossible standards is infinitely aggravating.
Hope this helps.
By the way, it isn't a stupid problem at all, and most women go through it (look at the mindboggling prevalence of eating disorders--do any women not have them?). At least she has the courage to take some tentative steps in expressing her fears--a lot of women never get that far, and it comes out in other, hard to interpret ways.
Another thing--talk in a lighthearted and affectionate way about things you will do together when you are old folks, which in an ofhand and inconspicous way affirms that you intend to spend your lives together.
Last edited by not recognizable; 03-24-2011 at 03:05 AM.