CollegeGirl

Hello everyone! I've been having some serious problems with my boyfriend of the past 8 years and any advice you could give me would really be appreciated. I am currently in college and have been trying to make a long distance relationship work for the past few years now, but it's really hard. We are both really busy and we hardly ever get to see each other. We dated off and on all throughout high school and were both sure when we graduated that we would spend the rest of our lives together. However, when I got to college and all my friends started getting boyfriends here it made our long distance relationship even tougher so I called it off for awhile because I wanted to date other people. This was a big mistake. We've broken up many times throughout our relationship so I just assumed we would get back together like we always do. I was wrong. I've dated other guys before while we were broken up and it was never a big deal. This guy has always been really good to me and I was lucky to have such a great guy in my life. Now I really regret breaking up with him in the first place. When I tried to talk to him about getting back together he told me that he still loved me but that he was not in love with me anymore and that I had just hurt him too much this time. He said that if I wanted to get him back that I would have to prove to him that this time I would take better care of his heart. I've been trying to text him and call him with hopes that we can work this out but he never has time to talk to me anymore. I know he's been busy with work and school but he's always found time for me in the past. He's really been a jerk this week, and although I know I deserve it, it makes trying to winning him back hard. For the first time since we have been together I feel like he might really be ready to move on. I know I have made a mistake and I really just want him back in my life, for good this time. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated

Prodigal

How old are you - 20? 21? You've got a lot of living ahead of you. I can absolutely guarantee you that the person you are right now will NOT be the same person you will be 10 years from now. We evolve. We change. That's life.

This guy may be Mr. Right. On the other hand, you owe it to yourself and to him to give him the space he apparently wants at this time.

Since you have a distance problem, why not allow yourself to exercise your freedom and date around? Your bf is not the only man on earth for you, although it may seem so right now.

Marriage is extremely hard work. I know lots of girls who married their college "soul mate" as soon as they graduated. Guess what? Not one of them has said to me, "Gee, I'm really glad I got married right out of college; best thing I ever did." These women are in their 40's now, with their own kids going off to college. The one thing I have consistently heard from them is this: "I wish I had waited a few more years before I got married."

If your bf is the right man for you, it will happen. Badgering a guy and trying to fix things immediately can assure you that he will back off. Guys don't like being hassled and they REALLY don't like it if they sense any sort of desperation.

__________________
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

SaffronPower

Honey he's made up his mind. It's probably a good thing. You need to get out on your own, get a career started. Date some people. Grow up. Don't worry, there will be plenty of guys that you don't have to chase down because of all the heartache. Thank him for the time and fun you've had and move on. Keep it classy. Stay in touch if you can but it's doubtful this is your lifetime mate.

AND it doesn't matter if all your gf's have bf's right now, this will change constantly. Now go have fun without a guy. You'll be happier in the long run if you love your singleness while you have it.

Runs like Dog

You both need to develop some maturity.

attmay13

we dont have to be so harsh

attmay13

the girls in love and we all have been there. My heart is braking now and Im not over it

Runs like Dog

Someone told me once "When teenagers run the world, what you get is the Middle Ages".

Which is historically accurate.


Point being, not everyone matures at the same rate. Someone who's broken up 'so many times' doesn't have relationship issues they have maturity issues. It's not an insult.

attmay13

didnt think of it like that but you are right.

CollegeGirl

Thank you all so much for your advice. I really appreciate your comments. I am in my early 20s, and I realize that I still have some maturing to do. I am definitely not ready to be married right now, and I doubt I will be in the next few years. I plan on taking your advice and giving him his space and just letting fate run its course. If it's meant to be, then I suppose it will work out. Thanks again for all of your replies!