distressedguy

well...i dont know how to start...but still i will try..

this is my first post seeking help at this forum...

i and my wife got married about 3 years back.everything went well for about a year...until she conceived...when she was preg she went to her mom's place and stayed there for a little less than a year....she delivered our kid there....and by this time we were just 2 years married...for this entire period i had no sex...coz she was staying away from me...

then when she came back with the child...thought my love towards her was the same..she started feeling that i dont help her out...as time started passing she wanted me to help her more and more in household work...with she doing minimal work...(she was a housewife)...i used to slog at my workplace and come home and help her a bit with household as well as the child's work. still she always felt that i didnt help her enough...as time passed the quarrels started between us...and she would ***** every now and then about me to her parents ..as to how she felt i was ill treating her... (however the only thing that she did was sleep in the afternoons and more than me at night as well)...our sex life was like say once in a month...as time passed interference from her parents in our life increased with she always saying that i should listen to her parents as they are very educated...(i and my family members are equally educated..but she felt we werent)

fights increased...but i saw to it that my 1 year old wasnt affected...one day in the heat of the moment...she tried to knife herself...i prevented it...however next day after another fight..she took an overdose of sedatives...and then tells me abt it...

post this she was in an ICU for some days...the psychiatrist treating her says she was suffering from depression as well as adjustment disorder and that she needed counselling and medical help..i was ready to do all this for her...but then immediately after her release from hospital she again went to her mom's place and has been there for almost half a year...and makes no attempt to come back to me...she is of the view..that i should apologise to her for driving her to tis extent and she has made no mistake by attempting suicide..even her parents are of the same view..she rarely calls me up...except for if she wants me to do some work for her....

my family is very stressed out by this...i am keeping my cool...but i would be lying if i say that i am not stressed either....however during all this period i have not strayed..i have been deprieved of sex for such a long time..there are women hitting on me..but i have tried my best to ignore them...but i fail to understand why my wife and her parents dont understand this ...they areneither making any efforts to reconcile her with me...or neither are they taking her to any psychiatrist....she has stopped her medication...due to which whenever she calls me once in a while...my slightest refusal to do her bidding causes her to shout and threaten me...

i am ready to go to a counsellor and a psychiatrist as well if the doc says i have a problem...but she is adamant she doesnt need any help...

please guide me how i shd behave...what shd i do...other than my wife's behavior...i am sexually starved as well...

help...

attmay13

you cant control the actions of your wife but you can control yourself. If it were me and I was you I would go to acounsellor myself! It never hurts as Im finding out. Then after afew trips there ask your wife to go with you, thats all that you can do. You cant make her go! Change what you can and try not to stress on what you cant.

marky

I love the way you think!
I just came upon your problems quite by accident and I love it. I am one of those men who have a much more intimate relationship with women that does not involve any sort of sexual contact.

distressedguy

thanks for your advice!!


@ marky.. "...love the way you think"...whats that supposed to mean????