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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-27-2011, 09:08 AM Thread Starter
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Sex question....

You've all read about my sic marriage, but I have a curious question.

What do you say to your spouse or SO when you do not want to have sex??

Does your spouse get angry? Pout? How do you deal with that?

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-27-2011, 10:02 AM
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Re: Sex question....

Read this, Is pretty good, My girlfriend has been interested in sex for 3years, Maybe 1 or 2 time in 2 months. I keep on going tho. thinking I need to love her anyway because sex is not the only thing. But she doesnt do anything to show she loves me. No I love you's, No why don’t you go have a good time. No kissing, No touching. Is this all worth it. I’ve come to learn I dont get mad about no sex ant more, its her coldness in every other place.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-29-2011, 08:41 AM
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Re: Sex question....

I've read a number of your posts about your situation... What I don't understand is if you're staying with your husband because it benefits you financially, and now you're not willing/wanting to have sex with him... What's in it for him? What are your bringing to the marriage?

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-29-2011, 10:42 AM
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Re: Sex question....

Here's what happens with me and my wife...

Usually, when one of us just isn't interested sex (as opposed to sick or upset about something) and the other is, we've made a pact to at least allow ourselves a little effort as a sign of respect to the other person. Nine times out of 10 that works wonderfully and we're crawling all over each other for the next hour.

Unless you're at the point where you're physically repulsed the other person and can't stand to be near them, then on some level you still enjoy being touched by them. Let yourself enjoy that feeling for just a couple of moments, and you may find your fire stoked to keep going.

That's what works for us, at least.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-29-2011, 11:07 AM
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Re: Sex question....

After reading your other posts about your husband, I'm not sure why you would even consider having sex with an abuser. Your main focus now should be on how to get out.
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