getting married and my groom is breaking me heart
backstory, my groom and I have both been married before and both ended in disaster. he had the big wedding and I went to a courthouse. my first marriage was a joke and should have never lasted the 8 years that it did. he just didnt care about me, his son, or "us." videogames ruled his life.
fastforward....I meet the man of my dreams. we date, we move in together, his son and himself, my son and myself. we get engaged and have a child together. we have been engaged for almost a year now. our budget is INSANELY low....$300. needless to say I will be making almost everything, the dress, the decor, the food...ect. Due to the fact that we have a small baby we have desided to make the date aug 14th of 2012....our baby will be a bit older and planning and making everything for a wedding on our budget is mental suicide with a baby. by setting the date so late it gives me the time to make and plan everything.
So about a week ago I start planning. I asked my grrom how involved he wants to be (lets face it, he's a guy) and I get a shoulder shrug. leaving it at that I get online and spend hours looking at pictures of over 4000 dresses and finally find one I like and that I can make myself....and he hates it. I asked him lastnight if he could give me a rough estimate of who he wants to be invited, so that I could start planning and he says "yea, I dont want to think about that, I'm watching a show." Today I showed him a picture of the arch I will be making (BY HAND)and he started laughing at me and told me I was a bridezilla for starting the planning process this early. it's too soon to plan according to him. then he tells me that he'd rather just go to a judge and "get it over with" like it's a painful chore he HAS to do. he said he doesnt care about having a wedding ceremony. From the moment we became engaged up until now...in one year I have asked him who he wants there, and shown him 5 pictures, THATS IT! and he's acting like I have no buisness even TALKING bout it let alone planning our day this early.
I'm sorry but getting married, for me, deserves more than a trip to a courthouse and a signature. I dont think he understands just how much it hurts me when he acts like this.
anyone have any advice so I dont lose my sanity??