I have always been a very logical, realistic thinker. If I had awoke one morning with drastic thoughts like not being in love with my wife(x now) anymore, wanting a younger woman, and having a desire to change my life, I honestly think I would still have the capacity to realize something wasn't right, "I'm not me, and I realize that." My first attempt would just be to wade it out. If it didn't pass, then i would try therapy. I don't think my solution would ever be to act upon feelings and desires that would turn lives upside down, because I would realize something was off.
OH Mike, That was so funny, the Dumba** gene !
I consider myself a very common sense type person, always the Realist. The dreamer types- I always shake my head. My feet always planted on the ground. I play Devil's advocate to every thought.
I am hoping I can say I didnt have the dumba** gene, since I/we weathered mine OK. I knew when I came into mine, I was not acting quite the same. Everything suddenly became BORING
to me -except those things I wanted. I would have been happy to get rid of my kids for the entire summer -would have gladly paid to ship them off to summer camp if I could have ! Doesn't sound nice I know, but true.
I remember wondering what in the world was wrong with my sister in Law a few years back, she ran off with a drummer, getting upset with her husband for wanting to stay home with the kids all the time, she was always such an attentive & doting Mom, suddenly she wanted to live it up, go dancing, following some band like a Groupie. She wanted her husband to come with her, he just wanted to stay home -hang out with the kids. They were happily married for 19 yrs before this, as far as anyone could see. The divide began, it ended in divorce, her & the drummer didn't work out, both still single today. Sad. What might have been if he went with her, I don't know.
I realized I was starting to THINK like her - not wanting to run off with anyone but I wanted to get away from my kids very badly, go out just me & him, do things I feel we missed in our youth, it was "consuming" for me. Take the vacations we talked about but never took. We have always let it be about THE KIDS
, what do they need, giving up ourselves for them. I remember years ago, after baby #4 , an Aunt wanted to baby sit for us once a month so we could go out alone (something we never did), I remember sitting face to face in the restaurant not even knowing what to talk to my husband about- if it wasn't about kids! Daahhhhh should have woke up then -but didn't somehow.
This ended with my Crisis. It turned out to be a good thing in my case, as I was unbalanced , putting my husband on the back burner , not even realizing I was doing this. We discovered "Us" again.