Argghh! Women are so confusing!
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Old 09-22-2008, 07:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Argghh! Women are so confusing!

So I just met this girl at a work party and we seemed to hit it off pretty well, I thought. She said we should grab lunch some time because I am in the process of moving to a new department in 2-weeks. So for the past few days I have been stopping by her office and just chit-chatting with her briefly and teasing her. Seems like all things are going well, but I can never ask her out because another co-worker of her shares the office with her. It would be too weird to ask her out in front of another co-worker. So I decided to just email her and ask her out to lunch. It's been 24-hours and I know she has read my email, but she has not replied to it. So what gives?!? Why would she suggest going to lunch but not get back to me? She could at least say "no thanks". What a bummer - and I thought I had found a winner, too!
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Old 09-22-2008, 08:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

I know "we" can be quite confusing at times. She could have suggested lunch just as a figure of speech or something to say to keep the conversation going or to end the conversation. Also, women tend to think way too much, myself included. She has probably thought all the way through if you go to lunch and it leads to dating and dating to a relationship that may or may not work and how it will affect the job, etc... and may decided that "lunch" is not worth the risk. I know it sounds weird but sometimes we let our thoughts stop us from doing something that would probably be harmless. and all the while you just wanted soup and salad and maybe a little conversation. :-) good luck
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Old 09-23-2008, 01:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

Bummer. At least she could just write me back and say, "no thanks", you know? Oh well, I guess my search continues!
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Old 09-23-2008, 02:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

i wouldnt give up on the first go, try again but this time simply ask to go for lunch again , but if she isnt interested to let you know.
i think thats fair. then you wil know for definate.
you might have another put of by her, but this time you wil know for sure.
dont give up on the first hurdle on everything you do.
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

Thanks for the advice, justean. I need to give people the benefit of the doubt, like maybe she had some urgent deadlines or was busy to get back to me. So next time I see her, I'll ask her if she got my email and if she's up for going out to lunch some time. Being persistent can be a good thing, but it can also be creepy if the girl doesn't like the guy. Hopefully I'm not creepy to her.
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Old 09-23-2008, 12:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

Give her a chance to reply back. Maybe she doesn't want to look like she can't wait, or maybe she is busy and hasn't gotten around to it.
Maybe the co-worker but his/her 2 cents worth in, who knows, but give her to the end of the week to reply back. If no reply back, then send another one and say.. I sent you an email asking you out, I would appreicate a reply back either way. Thanks !
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Old 09-23-2008, 07:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

Good news! She replied back to me this morning, and even apologized about the delay in getting back to me! *phew!* Now I wonder why she delayed in getting back to me. Was she just over thinking, or if she was just swamped with emails? Oh well, guess I'll never know! Anywhooo, I'm going to lunch with her tomorrow and I'm excited (and nervous)! Time to run to the ATM to get what little cash I have left.

I was already planning on paying for her. Does this sound like a good idea or bad idea? Like I mentioned, we just met each other at a work party. Would it be too weird to do this? I'm the typical nice guy who likes to pay, including my guy friends since I'm doing better off than most people. Would this paying gesture freak her out??? From my minimal experience in dating, I found that being nice and chivalrous is only great when the woman likes the man. Else, it's just creepy, and I don't want to be that creepy guy.
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Old 09-23-2008, 08:36 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

Pay for her first meal. You are trying to get to know each other. If she would like to do so, then or another time, then fine.. let her.
Good luck with everything !
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Old 09-23-2008, 10:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

Yes! Pay for the meal!!!
I always hated the "going Dutch" thing. To me, it was always an excuse for being cheap.
(Chivalry ain't dead!)
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:14 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

yes pay for the meal. dont make her not calling you back an issue.
dont make mountains out of mole hills.
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:56 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

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Originally Posted by freeshias4me View Post
Yes! Pay for the meal!!!
I always hated the "going Dutch" thing. To me, it was always an excuse for being cheap.
(Chivalry ain't dead!)
.. and I'm not cheap. If I could, I would eat at fancy places more than I have.
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Old 09-24-2008, 09:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

If she does feel like paying something on the bill, and goes on and on about it. Let her throw in for the tip. Even then.. I feel weird saying ok to that too.
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Old 09-24-2008, 12:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

When invited out i will expect the guy to pay for it. If not i will get real mad at him. Whatsnext? htat he invitres me out and i have to pay his bill?
It has to be romantic, you do 50/50 when its with friends not when dating.
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Old 09-24-2008, 02:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

I agree with paying for the meal...and if she seems reluctant, I also think letting her pick up the tip is a good idea if she feels awkward about you paying.

Have fun !!!
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:25 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Argghh! Women are so confusing!

So I had lunch with this girl and it went well, but of course, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND ALREADY! AHHH! I swear, all the good girls are taken. This probably explains why she was hesitant to get back to my lunch invitation. Other than that, she is a really great catch. Very beautiful, educated, adventurous, and nothing holds her back. I like that in her. But again, she's already taken.

Back to the drawing board
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