..28yrs SCREWED UP A BIT....
-Well im pretty new to the forum but I'll try to make this brief but forgive for the long post needs to be to explain. --Ok I just celebrated my 2yr anniversary and my wife and I are thousands of miles apart right now due to my job, but she gets angry with me becasue I call so frequently. She thinks that I'm interrogating her every time I call because I ask all the who, what, when, and with who questions. I hate that she thinks that when I call it is just really hard being way from her and I guess I just dont want to be that "sucker" now I trust her 100% but my expressions and voice say differently. Please read what I sent her to apologize and tell me what you think. I know relationships are about trust, how can I get rid of this jealously without damanging my great marriage. Advice please.
(( I just can’t get this out of my head and I know that it is almost to that point where my brief jealously episodes can cause damage to our marriage over time. I admit that sometimes I can be a “jealous jerk” as you say and to be honest with you I really don’t know why that is, you would think that after 4yrs together I would get a clue right!. I totally agree with you when you said, “It was embarrassing” for me to call u so many times just because you didn’t answer your phone, and if I put myself in your shoes I can agree that it would be very embarrassing and annoying if the roles were reversed. I don’t want to make excuses for my behavior it was way out of line and my reaction to the situation was totally uncalled for. I want to fix the problem NOW!!! I’m tired of worrying every minute of every day about nonsense: what you’re doing, where are you at, who are you with, etc. The truth is I trust you 100% and I know in your heart that we are meant for each other so you’re right, it is time for me to grow up and REALIZE ALL THE REASONS WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND MARRIED YOU! I know I have said a lot of this before and to be honest I am disappointed in myself for acting so childish. When I make you feel sad in anyway it immediately affects me I can’t imagine the hurt I make you feel sometimes. This has to stop and I blame about 80% of all our little spats on me. I know what life is like without you I know the emptiness I feel when I don’t hear your voice, I know what it is like to have no one to come home to at night, to sleep alone, and I never want to experience this again after November. I have to stop waiting for disappointments in my life now, I have noting to be mad or disappointed about anymore. I am focusing so much on returning back to the US a “NEW ME” that I forget that it is more than just from a financial or physical standpoint I need to throw away my bad habits as well. I am so excited about our future I have so many plans for us, so many vacations to go on as a family, so many experiences that we are going to share raising our daughter but none of that is important if momma isn’t happy. Right now (name) I am speaking from the bottom on my heart and as I type all my flaws and mistakes I am truly hurt because I have been given a million chances to correct this very same issue and I keep screwing up, I can’t imagine how you must feel. My guess is you’re hurt and ashamed that I can’t trust you enough to be apart without knowing every possible thing that you are doing.
Listen I know what you signed up for when you married me and I know this isn’t part of it. I am out of excuses (name) you’re a wonderful mother and wife, your strong, funny, considerate, sincere, and the last thing I want to do is change you. You’re my wife and I don’t intend to let you go. Nor do I want you to ever again be embarrassed by my jealous rage. So from this email onward I am giving you my promise on everything that is near and dear to my heart that I will do my best and put as much effort in fixing this as I do my career, and family to correct my behavior. I know what your thinking right now, how do you know that I am for real this time well just take a step back and see all the obstacles that have came in the way 2yrs ago and see how much we have improved since then. I have faith in myself that I can achieve anything that I put my mind and effort to and this is no different. It is funny because for a long time people have tried to change me and like a stubborn person that I am no one has ever come close until I met you. But it wasn’t you that changed me. It was me wanted to make to make you happy. You deserve all that I can give and then some trust me when I say I will satisfy all that you’re lacking and I will make you a very happy woman. Whatever it takes!! I don’t care you make me want to be a better person every single day. Please accept this as my apology and forgive me for my actions last night. I still remember one thing you said to me back at Christmas, “Let me have a reason to miss you” and when I act like this I wouldn’t miss myself. I’m sorry honey. You will see a huge difference going forward in my actions when we chat on the phone, the frequency of calls, and the amount of questions I try and get answered. I will focus on you and my natty and nothing more or any other topic you want to discuss at the time. It is not an interrogation every time I call and I’m truly sorry that I have been doing that. I will give you a reason to miss me, and most importantly I will make sure that you made the best decision when you said, “I DO”. You’re my lifeline without you I have nothing.[/size]))
__________________
SteelCurtain....GO STEELERS!!!
|
