I'm 23 and have been dating my boyfriend now (also 23) for over a year and a half, now I realize that many other couples date for years before committing to marriage. I graduated college last May, and he graduates in a few weeks. We have lived together since August, and have a 6-month old baby together. I completely understand that just because we have a child doesn't mean that we should be married, however, we have gone through things and overcome hardships that many other couples wouldn't survive, and he still doesn't know if he'll even propose within this year. What I don't understand is why he tells me he loves me and that he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me, and he still isn't even thinking about proposing. Also, his parents have offered to pay for our entire wedding. It's like everything for us is set, and our relationship is better than ever. I don't want to push the subject for obvious reasons, but I have no clue what the deal is and I can't stand to see everyone I know keep getting engaged or married when they haven't even been together as long as we have and especially haven't gone through the things we have, or have the bond we have (having had a child together) Someone please help me understand what he's thinking or if it's ever going to happen...I'm losing hope.
Sorry to hear that you are in so much pain over this difficult issue.
Obviously, being married is important to you but it is not to him. He is happy with the way things are, otherwise he would have asked by now. That is my guess anyway. You can never truly know what he is thinking.
When my marriage was in trouble I always used to try to get inside my wife's head. It made me anxious, depressed, and I felt hopeless. Something that helped me was really internalizing the fact that I couldn't get into my wife's head, and all I was in control of was my actions and feelings. So, as hard as it is, I would suggest not trying to figure out what he is thinking/feeling, instead try to calmly state how important it is to you to be married. Perhaps even write him a letter saying this. And after that, let it go. If he doesn't respond then no amount of pressure or reminding will make him respond. To quote Mort Fertel: "Your spouse/partner will change at one time, and one time only. When it is THEIR idea." But that doesn't mean you can't affect the situation. In fact, if you continue to be a fantastic, caring partner and a tower of moral authority, your partner will naturally come to realise how important it is to you and will hopefully pop the question.
So, I guess, to summarize I would say that no amount of pressure will make him come around. In fact the opposite may be true.
So, perhaps that may help you.