choppo

my husband is away on holiday im okay with that but we havent had a phone call since hes been away not a hi how are you all or a hello i arrived ok nothing but he text his dad i had to learn this through our daughter that was bad enough but i learnt today hes text his dad again and we got nothing its like a kick in the stomach or a smack in the face how dare he treat me and OUR children like this i went away for one night in may and phoned him as soon as i got there i think we deserve to be treated with the same respect

TheLoveGuru's

Honey.. Stop wasting time. Call your husband.

mrs.mixedmessages

I can totally relate to what you are saying you're hurt and misunderstood. I go through this constantly with my husband and his family mostly his dad. In fact I had lined up a date night for the two of us to go somewhere alone for supper and have the entire evening to ourselves-so what does he do calls his mom and dad and invites them with. I think it's some guys are just still attached to the umbilical cord. I am right there with you on the frustration, but there comes a time that you have to let go yourself and let him make his own decisions mistakes and all. I know it's hard trust me I know first hand, but the more you tell them about how you feel the more distance that gets placed between the two of you. Just call him even if it's for a minute, ask him how it's been going but at all costs don't let him hear you blow your cool. sometimes it makes them wonder more about you if you don't say anything negative. bite that tongue--good luck

MarkTwain

choppo-

This can only be assessed in the context of your relationship in general. How have you been getting on these last few years. Is the marriage happy?

sam_dunbar

I agree with MarkTwain that the state of your marriage is important to help us understand what is going on.

You mentioned that he should respect you and the family as you do by calling at least daily when he is away on a business trip. That is fair. Are you feeling disrespected or unloved?

I can offer this advice / observation. Bear with me, even if you don't believe in the Bible. In the Bible men are commanded not to respect their wife, but to love her. Why? Men by our nature respect. We understand hierarchy and service. However, it is difficult to be loving for men in the way that women, our wives need us to be.

Having said that. Take the time to sit your husband down, and in a loving respectful manner, tell him how you feel and how important it is for him to call while away on business trips.

Let me give you an example from my life. For the longest time my wife would call me if I was a running a few minutes behind when coming home from work. This used to drive me nuts. There were times that I would get up set at her, I felt that she was 'checking up on me'. It wasn't until later that I found out the real motivation was that she was sincerely concerned about my well being and safety. We agreed that if I was running late, that I would give her a call and let her know so that she would not have to worry about me.

Sam

Blanca

My H used to never call me to let me know if he was ok. It used to drive me nuts. I nagged him for awhile. Of course that didnt work and i just felt more resentful. So i started going out and not calling. At first he didnt really notice, but after a little while he started noticing. He didnt like it when the shoe was on the other foot.

My sister told me its a control thing. Her H does it too. They feel like you're trying to control them and that they have to check in with you, like you're their mom or something. So its weird for them.

justean

i dont think your being over sensitive, its just his actions hurt you.
try and make a new arrangement and talk about how you would like things to change with regards to communication when hes away. try and sort something out when he comes back.

but rowing wont help, it wil make it worse.

dcrim

Did you tell him it was to be a night just for the two of you? If I'd made a date night and he invited someone else, I'd bail at the last minute and tell him to have fun. That was just wrong.

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827Aug

I'm wondering the same things. I think there's probably a bigger problem in play here. Just based on the post (as it is), I see your spouse has taken a vacation without you. Futhermore, he is distancing himself from you.