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post #436 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 10:48 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Yes, he's very likely been lying to you from the moment you met him. And he'll never stop so hopefully his new relationship will last or he'll find someone else and he won't decide to come back to you. He knows that you are a very trusting person and that you lead with your heart and not your head. That leaves you vulnerable to men like him. Unfortunately.

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post #437 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 04:52 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Never again. Never ever again.

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #438 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 08:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

The more I think about it, the more I think Cynthia is correct. I am pretty sure he has maneuvered himself into this position. he was always very manipulative. We had talked a lot about stuff during the time we were hanging out. A lot. he tried to say he had tried to save me from the pain of finding out about his new woman. If he really didn't want me to find out about her, he would have prevenTed He wouldn't have let me in his house, or he would have put all her stuff up. He gave me mixed signals on purpose. He kept saying I was the one that broke up with him, and I was the one that rejected him. He did all this on purpose, and I gave him the result he wanted. So in his mind he has won. At this point, I would not be surprised if he does play out this new girl, and then try to come back. in his mind, he has succeeded in finding out that I still have feelings for him. So I am Plan B. He can go play around with this new person for a while, and then when he is tired of her, he will try. I am almost positive now. He had even said that we don't know what might happen in the future. well I know what will happen in the future. I Wouldn'ttake him back if he was the last man on Earth.

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #439 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 10:31 AM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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Originally Posted by GA HEART View Post

He had even said that we don't know what might happen in the future. well I know what will happen in the future. I Wouldn'ttake him back if he was the last man on Earth.
Good. Now wash that man right out of your hair. Get those animals out of his place and make a new and improved life for yourself. You deserve better than this.

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post #440 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Yes maam!! I do!

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #441 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Thank you all! Truly! The advice of total strangers is so helpful at times. Friends and family are wonderful, but sometimes can be too close to a situation.

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #442 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

But for the record, they all agreed with you guys too. LOL!

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #443 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 11:38 AM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I read an article that got me to thinking. It's about how our brain prunes connections while we sleep. It prunes the things that are deemed less important. The things we dwell on are organized and saved. If we are dwelling on the negative, guess what our brain is going to save? Yep. If we are dwelling on the things that make us anxious, guess what our brain is going to save? Yep.

It is vital to our wellbeing that we learn to dwell on that which is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8) When we dwell on these things, that is what will overtake our mind. It is what our brain will save in a place that is quickly retrievable.

Do not dwell on that man. Dwell on those things that build you and bring joy into your life. Make new, happier memories and keep focused on those things.

Here's the article: https://www.fastcompany.com/3059634/...-how-to-use-it

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post #444 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 12:12 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

From the beginning he's been a user and a liar. You were always Plan B -- you just weren't aware that you were. He's not someone to be trusted. It's easy for others to see all of that because we don't have the emotions for him that you do. He's not capable of loving you the way you love him. He just thinks you're an easy mark. I know right now you think you wouldn't take him back but IIRC you thought the same thing when you ended it the first time too.

He's excellent at manipulating women -- especially you -- and he knows it. Be prepared.
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post #445 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 12:23 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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he tried to say he had tried to save me from the pain of finding out about his new woman.
***barf***

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post #446 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 12:31 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I just re-read some of your posts from two years ago. I had forgotten that he told you then he had settled for you. And that he was on POF. Always looking for the next opportunity. That's who he really is.

I'm sure he promised you the moon two years ago to take him back. And he'll do that again if things don't pan out with the new one -- or the one after her.
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post #447 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 12:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Thanks for the article, Cynthia!

The love for him was always still there last time. We were already back together at this point. But my love for him is genuinely wearing off now. I'm starting to see him for who he genuinely is. And that's an ugly person. I have no use for ugly people in my life.

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #448 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 08:43 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

GA, you are a bright, strong and beautiful woman (I know because any woman who loves horses is! ). You can move on to something much better than him, he will get his comeuppance, they always do. Remember what doesn't kill you makes your stronger and wiser!
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post #449 of 469 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 09:40 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Oh aine, thank you so much! (Big smiles! )

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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post #450 of 469 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 06:51 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

My best friend is coming down in about an hour and we are moving the horses. I haven't contacted him since last Tuesday. Counseling went well Friday and i am going again this week.

Once the horses are gone, the only other thing I have to decide to do is tell his new girlfriend in Costa Rica that he's cheated on her. I keep going back and forth with that. I have proof that it happened. Undeniable proof. So if I tell her, I can send that. Or I could just chalk it up to her problem and move on. I do not think he would retaliate if he found out I told her. So I an very torn. I am usually very anti-drama. And this is nothing but drama.

"Always man needs woman for his friend. He needs her clearer vision, her subtler insight, her softer thought, her winged soul, her pure and tender heart. Always woman needs man to be her friend. She needs the vigor of his purpose, the ardor of his will, his calmer judgment, his braver force of action, his reverence and his devotion." ~Mary C. Adams
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