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post #46 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 12:07 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I wouldn't give his parents details but I wouldn't lie to them either.

He doesn't want to look like the bad guy. But that's not your problem.

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post #47 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 12:25 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Not really a whole lot to say except you can do this and I'm sorry you are here.

The joviality, the reasonableness, all sounds like it comes from a book I read about saving your marriage by a guy named Homer McDonald. I think it was called STOP Your Divorce!
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post #48 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 02:48 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I just got back home. He is not here. I had to leave earlier because he was "making" me feel like I was throwing away a perfectly good relationship for silly reasons. (Of course, I know I was allowing him to make me feel that way.)

I got out, got the water changed over into my name (ouch on the deposit!) got my taxes done (got a little more back than I had anticipated, yay,) and bought myself lunch.

The camper (his parents, we were keeping it here) is gone and he is gone. What little belongings he said he was taking are gone. I did tell him he could leave some stuff here since he can't fit it back at his parents house (which is where he is moving because although he works, he can't really afford to live on his own due to back child support.) He said he wouldn't count on them still being here......what would my new man think? REALLY? He was joking, but still. Sigh.....
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post #49 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 02:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Oh, and earlier he started in on the "I was going to buy you a ring, I just applied for a credit card and was waiting on the response." That's only the 4th or 5th time I've heard that in our relationship.
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post #50 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 02:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

And i did text his mom. Just to tell her me and the boys loved them and that I was so heartbroken over how things are working out. She never responded. Of course I don't expect her to want to have anything to do with me now.
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post #51 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 02:56 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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Originally Posted by GA HEART View Post
This has been a learning and growing process for me. This was my first relationship a couple years after a failed 12 year marriage. I'm stronger now than I have ever been. But it's still very very difficult.
Wow you and I are in the same boat, kind of.....

~~~ SW ~~~
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post #52 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 03:10 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

He can't afford to live on his own and so he's going back to his parents? When the dust settles, expect him to claim he's changed and wants to try again.
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post #53 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 03:22 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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Oh, and earlier he started in on the "I was going to buy you a ring, I just applied for a credit card and was waiting on the response." That's only the 4th or 5th time I've heard that in our relationship.
Guilt trip... ignore it..

Sorry you are struggling... but proud of you for staying strong.

The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom. - Anais Nin
Never underestimate the potential for things to improve in ways you cannot yet imagine. Karen Rohlf
Be soft as possible, but firm as necessary - Pat Parelli

Blossom's Road of Recovery and Reconciliation
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post #54 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 06:13 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I'm sorry you're going through this. You're certainly stronger than I am. The guilt trips will come and go. He will say what he thinks he needs to in order for you to reconsider. You can probably expect that to continue should you choose to speak to him again.

I'm sorry he left unexpectedly while you were out. Maybe that is for the best though. It keeps you from having to actually see him walk out the door. He's not going to like living at his parents out (I mean who does right?) so he might try to pull a few more tricks before all is said and done.

Keep strong. You know what you need to do in order to make yourself happy. Do it. You'll be glad you did in the end.

Good luck to you.
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post #55 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-30-2015, 06:22 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Stay strong. Few months from now you will be much happier person, and you will wonder why it took you so long to pull the plug.


"There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one. - Kazuo Ishiguro
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post #56 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 11:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

That's the hope I keep hanging onto.

I caved about sex last night. (Weak!) It was so bittersweet and filled with emotion. Afterwards he did say, "now will you take me back?" Just like a child. Full of childlike hope. Broke my heart into more pieces than it already is.

He did admit to feeling like he "settled" for me. Said he was happy and content, and could have lived the rest of his life with me. He was happy with the SITUATION and I knew it. I knew it wasn't ME. I could feel it. (Or NOT feel it, rather.) Of course then he followed it up with statements that tugged at me......trying to make me feel like I'm a silly teenager, looking for fairytale love.

I'm not. I know what real life is. I just want to be loved and appreciated for ME. Is that really asking too much? NO. I know the answer is no....

More tears. He's moving the rest of his stuff out as I type.
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post #57 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 12:34 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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That's the hope I keep hanging onto.

I caved about sex last night. (Weak!) It was so bittersweet and filled with emotion. Afterwards he did say, "now will you take me back?" Just like a child. Full of childlike hope. Broke my heart into more pieces than it already is.

He did admit to feeling like he "settled" for me. Said he was happy and content, and could have lived the rest of his life with me. He was happy with the SITUATION and I knew it. I knew it wasn't ME. I could feel it. (Or NOT feel it, rather.) Of course then he followed it up with statements that tugged at me......trying to make me feel like I'm a silly teenager, looking for fairytale love.

I'm not. I know what real life is. I just want to be loved and appreciated for ME. Is that really asking too much? NO. I know the answer is no....

More tears. He's moving the rest of his stuff out as I type.
Trust your gut feeling on this and not what your emotions are telling you right now. I'm afraid if you cave wishing that he will actually be different you will be disappointed.
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post #58 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 12:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I didn't cave. He's gone.
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post #59 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 12:49 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

That doesn't mean he's gone for good. He isn't going to like living with his parents.
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post #60 of 449 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 12:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

No, he isn't. He said they gave him 3 months to get out on his own. He will want to come back.
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