I asked him to move out. - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 12:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

His parting words, "you're throwing away a good thing."

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post #62 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 01:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

He said he would rather settle than be lonely. He said I don't know what being lonely is.

I keep repeating this stuff because I'm struggling. What if I really DID do the WRONG thing???? God knows I love this man!
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post #63 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Now starts the texting, "I miss you already!!! You broke my heart."

I suppose this is where NC starts. My bestie isn't answering her phone. I am supposed to be taking me and the boys up to her place tonight. I can't seem to get motivated to do anything but sit here. I want to respond to him.
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post #64 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 01:20 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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I didn't cave. He's gone.
Good!!!!!! Stay strong!!!!!!!
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post #65 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 01:21 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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Now starts the texting, "I miss you already!!! You broke my heart."

I suppose this is where NC starts. My bestie isn't answering her phone. I am supposed to be taking me and the boys up to her place tonight. I can't seem to get motivated to do anything but sit here. I want to respond to him.
Yes, yes, yes....no contact!
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post #66 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 01:50 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

He knows you are his only ticket out of his parents' house. He isn't going to give up. The only way to shut him down is DON'T RESPOND. Not one time!
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post #67 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 02:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I haven't. I know it will get easier. He left a letter I had written him before we moved in together. It outlined all the things he no longer was when he moved out. I wrote it almost a year ago. He definitely wasn't like that anymore. Apparently he thinks he was....
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post #68 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 03:05 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Hang in there. Your heart will betray so trust your head.
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post #69 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 03:22 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Stay the course sweetie. I can tell deep in your soul you know the cruelty, the manipulative sweet talk, the guilt trips are not FOR you, but against you. This is not a mistake.

The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom. - Anais Nin
Never underestimate the potential for things to improve in ways you cannot yet imagine. Karen Rohlf
Be soft as possible, but firm as necessary - Pat Parelli

Blossom's Road of Recovery and Reconciliation
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post #70 of 484 (permalink) Old 01-31-2015, 03:31 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Do what you can to give him back his 25% of the down payment on the house but GET HIS NAME OFF THE DEED and to be fair, off the mortgage as well. Have an attorney oversee this so no one gets cheated and it is all legal.

This way he will have some money to get a place of his own and leave you alone.

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post #71 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-01-2015, 01:52 AM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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Originally Posted by GA HEART View Post
He said he would rather settle than be lonely. He said I don't know what being lonely is.

I keep repeating this stuff because I'm struggling. What if I really DID do the WRONG thing???? God knows I love this man!
Don't think that way!!!!!!!
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post #72 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-01-2015, 05:49 AM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I hope you are ok GA Heart...


Just checking in on you this morning

The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom. - Anais Nin
Never underestimate the potential for things to improve in ways you cannot yet imagine. Karen Rohlf
Be soft as possible, but firm as necessary - Pat Parelli

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post #73 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-01-2015, 03:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I'm here, I'm ok. Thanks for checking on me. Sorry for not responding earlier, I was at my best friends place and my phone wouldn't let me for whatever reason.

He's tried to text me twice more. Said his Mom is reading all my facebook comments. I've not said a WORD about him or what is going on with us, but posted little inspirational meme type things, again.....nothing about relationships. Just things like loving who you are and being accepted despite flaws and such. I'm not doing it to be passive aggressive at all, but to try and feel better. He doesn't even have a facebook.

He's also tried to play trivia crack with me. LOL! I kinda find that funny. I let our current games expire, and ignored a new request for a game, along with a "some friend you are" statement.

Someone please just tell me again that I did the right thing?? For both of us? He says that I want fairytale love and it doesn't exist.....if he settled for me, but was content......wouldn't HE be happier if he finds a love that is BOTH friendship and passion? I feel like he was using me as a cure for loneliness. I was good enough for that. But I wasn't good enough for him to feel any kind of passion towards. I don't think I'm stuck in fairytale land. I KNOW relationships smolder with time. But we were only 2 years in, and I've been feeling this for several months now.

I"m feeling like I gave up too soon!
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post #74 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-01-2015, 03:23 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

No, you didn't give up too soon. Do you really want someone who just settled for you? He wants that comfortable life of his back so he can get away from his parents and he's obviously working to get it since you are the only option at the moment.

You need to block his texts or delete them without reading them. No contact means just that. You can't even start to get beyond this if you are reading every word he sends.

Breakups take time to get over. You know that.
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post #75 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-01-2015, 03:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Yes, I know that. And I also know I can't pity party forever. He wants to "be friends" probably so he can get in my pants whenever he feels like it. And yes, I do need to get him paid off and out of my life.

But my stupid heart hurts. I had fallen into a trap yet again. I swear I'm not as dumb as I sound. I am so disappointed in myself it's not even funny. I tried to be so careful, I tried to take my time. He pushed HARD and I went along with it. I KNEW better. But I thought he loved me. He definitely LIKES me. We got along great as friends. That's what we should have stayed.
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