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post #106 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 02:08 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

WOW! Feel for you and praying for your strength. Write it down. This section of your life would make a good movie or book. God loves you. It will get better. Maybe you are being trained? ����
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post #107 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 02:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

I have been told to write a book a bunch of times. Perhaps I should. Sadly, this is just the tip of the iceberg! LOL!
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post #108 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 02:37 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

For everything going on, you sound like a good and fun lady. There is definitely better for you ahead.
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post #109 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 03:11 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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Originally Posted by AVR1962 View Post
As hard as it is to do, do not give in to this man. He is not treating you well and it will not get better. You do not need to live like this. Keep going forward with the separation or divorce proceedings. If you find his begging making you weak, take him off your call list, block him, do not answer, do not read his emails or texts. There is a better life for you. Don't buckle to the good that you recall. the bad over-shadows the good here.
Wow, so can we ascertain from this bold statement that YOU have finally gotten rid of YOUR POS husband?

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #110 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 03:16 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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THank you guys, truly.

I did backslide yesterday a bit. He called and texted several times, said he forgot to leave my spare truck key. He dropped it by the house (my son told me he was there and I drove REALLLLLLLY SLOWWWWWLY to avoid him.) Thankfully I missed him. But he said he needed to ask me an important question about "business." I sent a quick text telling him that I didn't have his money yet (can't pull $3,700 out of my arse) and expected that to be it. But he said he had another business question, so against my better judgement, I called. He asked me something stupid about the water bill that he could have called them for and then told me he just wanted to hear my voice. I said, "you heard it, bye." And hung up.

But then I started feeling more and more lousy and texted him to let him know he suceeded in making me feel worse. (There's my mistake and I know it.) Then we went back and forth a bit. It ended with him saying maybe he wasn't meant to love and be loved. I told him I honestly didn't think he knows HOW to love. And he said that might be true. I sent him a Bible verse (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) and left it at that. Haven't heard from him sense.

I have already cried more today than I did yesterday. But again it feels a little different. I"m sad over the loss of what I thought I had. Sad that I thought I FINALLY found real love, but I was tricked yet again. And sad that I am stupid enough to have found myself in that situation yet again. I guess I am proud of me for recognizing it this time though. Doens't make me any happier.......
Believe it or not, you are doing great. Oh, and tough love with your son...terrible timing on that one.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #111 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 04:08 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

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And just an hour ago I found out that my juvenile delinquent 17 year old adopted son who was living with his bio mom just got kicked out and will be moving back in with me to avoid dropping out of school. Life has been so peaceful with him gone. I missed him, but didn't miss his crap.

Really, God? Really?
Dear Ms. Helper:

Here's someone that needs your help. And I do not mean to lessen the intensity of this situation, but maybe, just mayyyybe he can help you, too, by focusing on his problems, thereby keeping your mind occupied after the loss of your sh*tty relationship?

I'm hopeful this young man can still be helped. He needs you. Of course I don't know any of you from Adam, but I venture to guess he's more worthy of your help than ex BF.

Go forth and conquer!
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post #112 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-03-2015, 07:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

LOL, thanks. I've already gone down that thought road. The timing is bad at first glance, but maybe this IS what I need to keep me preoccupied. He is definitely a troubled kid. Swears he's different now. We shall see, he still has a TEENAGE brain. Although, like my other boys, he has been through A LOT and is probably in some ways older than he should be.

And I'm actually tossing around the idea of the book fo reals. LOL!
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post #113 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 02:18 AM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Your ex sounds narcissistic.....google it and see if it fits. Untwisting yourself from a narcissistic person can be difficult but it is a must for your own sanity, they are users.
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post #114 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 07:20 AM Thread Starter
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Yes, I beleive he has sone narcissistic tendancies. I'm not sure I would label him with it, but some of the traits are there.
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post #115 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 03:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

NC all day yesterday and so far today. If he got his W2 in the mail, I will have to let him know that......but I will leave it in the mailbox for him and send him a text.

Heart still broken. Thinking about if it's possible for R maybe down the road. Certainly NOT waiting or holding my life for him to realize how much he screwed up. I dunno.

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post #116 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 03:19 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

R with someone who just settled for you? Who doesn't want sex with you the way you want sex with him? You think that little of yourself? Really?
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post #117 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

No.

This is so hard.
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post #118 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 04:21 PM
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Of course it's hard. Love is an addiction and like any other addiction it takes work.

When thoughts of backsliding pop in your brain just imagine a huge red glowing stop sign and refocus. It's only been a week and you have a long way to go before you are over him.
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post #119 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 05:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

Yes.

I came up with something tonight that I think makes some sense. (Although I might not be able to convey it well over the internet, bare with me.)

In the months/weeks leading up to this split, I would occasionally mention that I didn't feel very appreciated. (Which makes sense in hindsight.....if he didn't really have a romantic kind of love for me, he didn't do anything romantic or sweet. No little gestures, grunts of disdain when I would ask for a foot rub or back scratch, lack of lovemaking, etc.) But whenever I would mention not feeling appreciated, he would say the exact same thing! I couldn't understand how on EARTH he would feel unappreciated when I loved on him, scratched his back, did my chores, listened to him, tried to make him happy, TOLD him how much I appreciated him, etc. It always seemed like to me he was feeling like I should appreciate the fact that he was just WITH me. (And at the time, I just thought he was slipping into more and more self-centered-ness.)

Tonight it dawned on me that yes, that's EXACTLY what he felt, but not why he felt that way.

Since he "settled" for me, it must've been a struggle for him to just be with me, KNOWING that I wanted all his love. And he must've been trying very hard to give me what he didn't have to give. So he did feel unappreciated because he WAS unhappy and he was giving it all HE had, and knew it wasn't enough and that *I* wasn't happy. I don't think he did this with conscious thought, however.

Does that make sense?
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post #120 of 484 (permalink) Old 02-04-2015, 05:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I asked him to move out.

P.S. I had to text him tonight to let him know that his W2 came in the mail. He replied with, "thank you. I miss you deeply." To which I replied, "what do you want me to do with these tax documents."

Haven't got a response yet.
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