yesi157132

I'm 26 weeks pregnant w/ our first boy ,
My husband has 3 girls before with prev marriage, (ages 5, 7, and 10) they live in California and we live in Texas,
They still have trouble accepting me, because his ex-wife hates me, and she's always influencing the girls to dislike me , (She was unable to give him a boy and make his girls fear) and makes them think If I have a boy, he won't love them anymore, or visit (she doesn't know I'm pregnant)

My husband is thinking on telling the girls once the baby is born , so he can show him to the girls, and be easier for them to see him there , than knowing I'm expecting,
I believe it's not the right thing to do, since they will think I lied to them or make him not tell them, and hate my baby and me more.

I'm really exited w/ our first baby , but don't like the idea of the girls not knowing until the baby is born .
Should he tell the girls now, or wait till my baby is born?

draconis

With me I had custody of my son from my first marriage. For the wife and I it was easy to explain what was going on the bigger issue was she was born preemy and he couldn't touch her for the first 45 days because she was in nicu. But I think you should have the girls there to explain it to them that way you can guage their reactions and act accordianly.

draconis

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bluebutterfly0808

i think he should tell them now. if he waits, they may be so shocked & influenced by their mom, that may take away all the excitement of the birth. tell them now to give them time to get excited & get over the shock. it's a baby! everyone should rejoice! you don't need this stress during the pregnancy either! good luck!

Chopblock

In my opinion, it sounds like it doesn't really matter. If you wait until the birth, you'll get accused of lying. If you do it now (and you are quite far into it already) you'll still get grief.

In these situations, I usually say "which would you rather be antagonized for"

I think you should focus your efforts on having a united front with your husband, so that whenever you do decide to break the news, you guys are both in sync regarding what to say, and how to handle any negativity.

Congratulations, by the way.

dcrim

I'd say tell them now. Get it "over with" (as it were) so that when the baby arrives, it won't be a shock and they may have some time to get used to the idea of a (step)brother.

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ConfusedWifeyinCA

I would tell them now.. so they can get used to the idea they will have a little brother. I mean the baby is gonna come one day .. might as well tell them now. Its unfortunate that the mother talks bad about you, but not all divorces go smoothly. Just do what you need to do for yourself. Most of all enjoy your pregnancy.. its a wonderful wonderful experience!!!