sprinter1989

Hi, ive been married over 20 years to a fantastic partner.Shes everything i've ever wanted in a wife and more- a best friend. a kind considerate lover and a great mother.She told me last night that she feels trapped in the marriage, I'm controlling her and I cant see it.This is the second time she has brought this up but she wants me to leave.
I'm just totally at a loss to see her point of view- she has her own job, bank account, car and friends.After she told me the first time I was controlling her i revisited my feelings for her and I pulled to pieces the way I treat her, asking for friends and family input, with no clear outcome.
We both run our own business which is in the process of going bust- my minds a total mess with all the legal and staff problems but it will be over in a few weeks.My wife seems to have great days then a really bad few days when she looks for problems which I cant see.I love her more than anything but am at a loss what to do next? any thoughts?

This is me

This is very similiar to what I had happen to me in February. Happily married 16 years and then one day my wife tells me she wants a divorce because I am controlling and she wants out. I was shocked to say the least. I encouraged that we seek professional help, which we did and are still going to. It has been up and down since then and she is still not completely committed to the marriage, as I am.

I have learned a ton since D Day, including giving her space, keeping my emotions in check, being a better example, the 180 and most recently about the "Walk Away Wife Syndrome", which seems to be what she is going through.

Be strong, positive, give her space and if you see the marriage as a glass more than half full it will take time and patience.

Conrad

Sprinter,

You sound like a really nice guy.

That's likely where your problems begin.

I'll bet you see yourself in these links.

The Man Up and Nice Guy Reference

We're in the Men's Clubhouse.

Read all the links.

Ask any questions you may have.

If you pay close attention, you'll be surprised at the impact you can have on your relationship.

__________________
"Forgive or Re-Live"

-AFEH

Catherine602

Don't leave your house, the one who wants out of the marriage needs to move. You didn't do anything but try to make her happy, why would you consider leaving your home???

Invite her to stay in the quest bedroom until everything is settled. You stay in the comphy master. The person who wants out takes the trouble to move out of the master bedroom.
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magnoliagal

If she feels so trapped then she should leave not you. Sounds to me like she's unhappy and is just looking to pin it on you.

Entropy3000

Often when a woman wants her space and states her husband is controlling it is because there is a third party involved. They feel smothered by their spouse because they are cramping their style and freedom to have a relationship with this other person. It is basically a scorched earth policy to make room for the new person.