crazycat25

So ... Do you buy your spouse his (or her) mother's day card/gift.... For them? I bought a card and a gift and had him sign it... And did it all for him. If I didn't.. He wouldn't remember her.

I try to be mindful... How about you? You leave it to them or do you do it for them?
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AgentD

I used to that all the time. Remind my husband of mothers day, birthdays, etc, etc, and buy the cards or whatever, because I knew if I didn't he wouldn't remember.

Then one day, I thought to myself, why should I remember to remind him of mothers day, fathers day, family birthdays etc, and get cards and all that.

I wasn't doing him any favors by continuing to do that. Mostly what I reminded him of was HIS family's birthdays and mother and fathers day, and bought stuff for. I stopped doing that, because it really wasn't up to me, and not my responsibility. So I left it up to him. After a few missed events like birthdays etc, he would get embarrassed, so then he started to remember on his own. So now he does it.

If I had felt appreciated or not so much like I was being his mother when I did it, it might have been different. BUT at the same time, he has a brain and should remember certain things on his own.

__________________
"If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always gotten."

magnoliagal

Nope don't do it. I hate cards and it's not my mom. I'm on the fence as to whether my attitude stinks or if this is a good thing to do. I'm a homemaker so it's not like I don't have time to do it for him. I just never have. I will buy the gifts though because I'm out shopping anyway and I'm on a tight budget.

crazycat25

I can tell you HE would never even dream of doing it for me! But I did it this year. I have watched ...time and time again... His family get completely let down. Sometimes he doesn't even call on birthdays etc. So I have stepped in because I know he will never learn. Ever.

This may be the last year though... He is failing me in many areas too.

He gets flowers for his sister in law who hasn't spoken to us in 3 years. Don't know why, but I think he's scared of her. But he got really ticked at me for buying 2 little outfits for my newborn nephew. I actually SPEAK to this family member.


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magnoliagal

Mine would do it if I asked him to. I think I'd be okay if he did that as opposed to just expecting me to do it. "Hey hon would you please pick up a card if you go out this week?" He never asks though and I've never volunteered.

Jamison

Its really not your cross to bear though. He wont learn anyway if you are always doing it. Its his family and if they get let down and disappointed because he doesn't remember, thats not on you.

This is all based on if you don't mind doing it though. So if you don't mind reminding him or buying cards and gifts then there is really no issue. If you're wanting him to take some responsbility to do it, then you will have to stop doing it for him. AND if he never learns, its still not your issue.