My hubby and I have been thru some tough times. I did some horrible things, def not his fault, and although he threw me out..he took me back in a few weeks as our councellor said we could not work on things if we are apart.
From reading here, I believe he MANNED UP. which honestly was nice. He no longer says nothing if something I am doing bothers him, he asserts his feelings a bit more ect.
I have done a complete turnaround. Took full responsibility for my financial infidelity (that was hard) and rebuked a hot wealthy man's advances in the middle of my marital woe (lol..but it was nice to be noticed) stopped drinking wine COMPLETELY (big issue he had with me) and basically have worked so hard to regain his trust, that the man who controlled the purse strings just 18 months ago..and had never allowed me to deal with the finances..HANDED OVER FINANCES TO ME.
He is very proud of me. In four months since I took over I have paid off 9 thousand of consumer debt, with only four grand remaining which will be paid july 3rd. He is NOW saying that if he knew I was this good at the books I could have had them seven years ago when we married
I think his controlling me financially had SOME influence on my bad decisions..not his fault..I made the choice to do it. but still looking back, I felt like a child. so I was Naughty!!
anyway. so much is fixed. However. He is loving YES. Nice YES. but I want a little romance. I want a kiss or hug other than hello goodbye or lets have sex moment ya know? flowers? what are they????
Please. Tell me what to say that is effective to get him to understand how much a little romance means to me? I have tried..but usually once I am totally ticked off and it becomes a me telling him that I am upset with him. so far..this tactic has not worked.
I guess what I want is to make my marriage bomb proof. I do not want to ever decieve him again. I do not want to ever let another man come close enough to try to tempt me again. I love love love my husband, but I need affection.
please don't get me wrong. He loves me. I know he does. I just feel like I come last sometimes.
example...he calls from work or whatever..asks me to do something for him. I DO IT. I asked him 4 weeks ago to get rid of my bathroom scales to the trunk of his car as I have became obsessed. guess where they are? at the back door. in a bag. where I put them 4 weeks ago. I asked several times and then gave up. sigh. I want to be given appreciation and affection.
now I shall go make his dinner and put it in the microwave as he arrives home an hour after I leave for work today. When I get home tonight his lunchbag will be on the counter. With the dirty containers from his lunch today. Which I will remove. And pack his lunch for tomorrow.
sorry for the rant. I know it is all over the place. Just needed to vent