General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Hey all new member here, I googled marriage forum just so I could vent this.. So long story short as possible, I HATE the way my wife dresses haha.. When she was going up her family was very thrifty always shopping at thrift stores and such, nothing wrong with that in my opinion. But she always looks at pics from her childhood and complains about how she never had anything that was "in style". Now she has her own money and can buy what she wants. The problem, now my opinion of it, is that she is living the lifestyle she didnt get in high school. My wife is reaching 29 this year and when she goes shopping for clothes she runs straight to the "TEEN" department. I comment that she is not a "teen" and she gets mad and says those are the clothes she likes. She dresses like all the kids in high schools do. Now this may sounds somewhat bad, but my wife is a little overweight, and this makes the problem even worse she gets so pissed off she has to wear an extra large shirts and has to buy the largest size pants the store even sells. If she shopped in the women department she would wear regular sized clothing. Its almost an embarrassment because she is trying to be something she is not, we have an anniversary coming up and I said I would like her to get something nice to wear so we can go out to a fancy dinner (which we never have done) like a nice dress. She told me they dont sell dresses where she shops so she is not interested. Great so I can have a nice anniversary because Aeropostale doesnt sell nice dresses!!
I try so hard to try talking her into look more her age, dont get me wrong I am not trying to cover her up or tone down her style, if she wants some sexy clothes more age appropriate be my guest that is not the problem at all.
Now I am gonna probably sounds like a total retard here but I think the biggest problem is that she buys her panties from the kids department because she like the designs. She really goes to the kids section in the underwear department and get some extra extra large panties!! It is so unattractive to see a almost 30 year old woman wearing a pair of Hello Kitty panties... Again she likes the designs.. Now again, I am not trying to sexy it up, I am not asking for lace thongs or anything. Just more age appropriate.
Help me out guys, how can I help talk he into getting some more mature clothing?? I have her try it on and she hates it and runs back to the teen section
I told her I would give her $3000 to rebuild her entire wardrobe if she says away from the teen/kid section, I am that desperate. She said she wouldn't do it because thats the kind of clothes she likes. And this is really the only major problem we have ever had, but its really starting to get to me the older we get!
I buy some shirts in the jrs dept. If I like it, I like it. Sizes are not a measure of much these days. A 2 or 6 might be an 8 in another clothing line. So don't get Hung up on sizes.
My opinion, buy her some victorias secret panties, more conservative if that's her style. Don't want to be too radical. And buy her a dress you like, based on her measurements and coloring. Ask for help in the woman's section. Don't wait for her to do it. You do it and see if that works. Posted via Mobile Device
She wont hear this from you. Period. She has made that clear. She likes what she likes and doesn't think your style of clothing is what she wants to wear. If I was you I would try to get her on the tv show "What not to wear". I'm not joking. Let the people on the show take her out and teach her how to dress for her age and her body type. They will tell her that she isn't dressing in a way that a 29 year old should be and give her pointers on how to dress in a way that she will like but also look good in. You don't need to be the bad guy and you also wont have to foot the bill. Win win!
Good luck.
I think 29 is a tough transition. She's aging and yet doesn't want to face it. Does she shop at all the teen stores or just the crappy ones like Aeropostle? Reason I ask is some are better than others. I have to go to those stores because I got tiny after losing weight and working out. The misses dept stops at size small/4 and I am an extra small/2.
My favorites are Express and rue 21. Now she'd probably buy the teen stuff there too but they do have a better selection of grown up clothes than aeropostle (I hate that store). It's where my 30 year old best friend and I shop.
Just an idea. What about victoria's secret? I'm thinking maybe if you can get her to consider a "hip" store she won't feel so threatened by the part where she's a misses now.
Why is her choice of clothing such an issue for you? It's her body, her life. She is not hurting ANYONE. It is a harmless idiosyncrancy that has 0 impact on your life. If you think she is a reflection on you, get over it. No one worth while will judge you based on what she wears (and very few people will judge her beyond thinking she likes to dress young/too young; her clothes are not a reflection of her IQ or ability and few people think they are).
If this is the biggest beef you have, be grateful. It's not worth the energy you are putting into it.
I don't understand. How long have you known her? Has she always worn clothes like that?
I turned 30 last year and had no idea what to wear. I didn't want to dress like a little girl, but other clothes looked to matronly. It's difficult for me to find clothes I like.
I think she can mix and match. Buy some stuff from the jr section and other's from the misses section as long as it is appropriate.
We have been together about 7 years married for 5 (next month) of them, I just kept thinking she would grow out of it, but its not happening..
No she shops at the crappy teen stores because she can get more crap for her money... Places like Holister and Abercrombie are to expensive for her tastes. I will be honest, we have gone into Holister and Abercormbie, and their clothes are much nicer than the stores she prefers.
sisters359 Is it really so wrong to want my wife to look good for her age? I am not trying to make her into a **** like some men try to do, I would just like to see a more mature version of my wife. I have seen her in more mature clothing at stores and I think she looks GREAT, beyond beautiful Im my opinion, but she doesnt see what I see, she sees "old woman"
Also she is about the only woman who is anti-Victoria Secret, she says nothing they sell there is nice and its all over priced, I tell her the price doesnt matter (as I am willing to go broke to help her) but she is not interested.
Whats weird is she occasionaly gets magazines like Cosmo (I dont know if that really it, it just the first that came to mind) and they always show pics of celebs and such.. I point out pictures and say what about something like this and she said yeah its really nice and I say lets go find something similar at the store and she says its nice but it wont look good on me and she is not interstesed..
If she always dressed that way then I think you should accept that that is how she dresses. I think a lot of people (myself included) made the mistake of thinking that our spouse would "grow out of" something when they got older instead of marrying them as they were as if they would never change.
Maybe she resists because she thinks you are trying to change who she is. Her clothes are an expression of herself. If you let it go, maybe she'll come around on her own.
Most women want to look good for their husbands. She may very well see herself realistically and have a body image or age-image confusion, like she still feels 17 so she dresses as she feels. Just buy her vc undies. She's probably afraid to be seen there. Posted via Mobile Device
If she always dressed that way then I think you should accept that that is how she dresses. I think a lot of people (myself included) made the mistake of thinking that our spouse would "grow out of" something when they got older instead of marrying them as they were as if they would never change.
Maybe she resists because she thinks you are trying to change who she is. Her clothes are an expression of herself. If you let it go, maybe she'll come around on her own.
Just to be fair it was not bad when she was in her early 20s because she was still around that age group.. Then I was fine with it, She was 24 when we got married even then it did not bother me so much, But now at almost 30 it is beginning to bother me. But I get what you are saying..
I don't really have much room to talk. Coming up on 41 next month, my wife has just, in the past year or so, convinced me that movie/comic book/tv show/funny text t shirts aren't the best everyday/work look. That said, even though I'm buying "nicer" shirts, I still find more that I like in the "young men's" department than the "regular" men's department. Even the polo shirts have a better look to them. Even at that, it's still important to know what looks and styles work on you, and which don't.
If you REALLY feel that a style change is imperative for her, go shopping with her, start in the stores/departments she prefers and find something there to suggest for her. Get it and, if you like the look on her, tell her...let her know that you think she looks great in it. Posted via Mobile Device
Just to be fair it was not bad when she was in her early 20s because she was still around that age group.. Then I was fine with it, She was 24 when we got married even then it did not bother me so much, But now at almost 30 it is beginning to bother me. But I get what you are saying..
Yeah, I was 24 when I got married too. So was my husband. He played video games for hours on end then. I thought he'd grow out of it. He'll turn 31 next month and he still plays video games for hours on end.
I, like you, assumed that he'd grow out of something we view as juvenile. And I think it was a fair assumption on both of our parts, but it turned out not to be true. We just have to live with it.
I do find though that the less I pressure him to stop, the more it just tapers off on it's own. He doesn't do it as often as he used too, but he still does it. Your wife may begin to dress a little more age appropriate, but it may never fit your idea of how she should dress for her age. Just accept her quirky way of dressing as part of her personality and you'll be a lot happier.
Today I am fed up with weirdos and freaks. I am done. Grow the hell up, act like an adult and get to it. No one's got the time or the patience to put up with anyone's stupid **** anymore.
Tell your wife "The goddamn circus ain't in town so what are you doing? You wanna bang frat boys? Do you? Want to cruise the high school? Want to cougar up the mall? Grow the hell up and stop looking like a clear heeled trailer bride stripper for god's sake. I wouldn't let my daughter out of the house looking like that unless she ALREADY had tattoos."
I really don't like the " My body, my right" attitude.
Yes, it is your body, your right! But don't forget now you are married, your husband is the one who is looking at you 24/7. You don't need to care much about other people's opinion, but you have to make yourself appealing for your husband to look at, you have to make yourself for your husband to be comfortable with.
Does she work? What clothes does she wear to work?
It's not just about age appropriate--it's about sending the right message. If she wears stuff like that to a job, she's probably losing respect all around from her boss, coworkers, etc. (unless she works at Aeropostale!) She'll be less likely to be considered for raises, promotions, high-paying clients, etc.
I think you should focus on finding out what her style really is--what colors, patterns, shapes does she like? Is she brand-focused or is it more about the clothes themselves? You can find "older" clothes that are similar to the ones she wears in many locations. If it's a brand issue, then it's going to be much tougher to break her of the habit. Some stores I would suggest would be...
1. Victoria's Secret for underwear. If she's annoyed at the price or likes cutesy patterns, send her to Victoria's Secret Pink--it's mostly geared towards high schoolers and has lower price points. Sorry but most of my generation started wearing this brand when we were 12 years old--she's not too young for it.
2. Loft (a "younger" branch of Ann Taylor). Plenty of college aged women shop here, as well as 30-somethings. They have casual stuff like jeans and t-shirts but also fancier dress pants, etc. Their sales are like INSANELY GOOD too--most of their things are way overpriced, so glance at a few price tags and then head to the sale section to see how much they get marked down. She might be enticed by the idea of saving tons of money. On a good day, she could get a $50 blouse for $10 with a generous sale.
3. Banana Republic OUTLETS--they have unbelievable prices on some really great clothes. Many different ages shop here, including high school students so this might be a good transition. Prices can be high, which is why I'm suggesting an outlet location, as they frequently have additional discounts.
4. Nordstrom t.b.d. for designer brands. This section is geared towards young women in their 20s and 30s--way more expensive than b.p. (their teen section) but WAY better things. If she doesn't have a pair of designer jeans yet, then she NEEDS some--yes needs! They are wayyy more flattering than any of the garbage she's been buying at those other stores, so take her here and buy her some Designer jeans are worn by everyone from spoiled 11-year-old princesses to 50-year-old women.
5. White House Black Market for a dress. They again are more expensive, but ALL ages shop here for fancy dresses, including high school kids. I actually remember a friend buying a dress here when I was like 10, and I've seen people my parents' age shopping here.
Hope these help. If she's "sure" that they're too expensive, drag her there and make her prove it to you--she will be surprised at how fair some of the items are priced.
Wifes Clothing Choices? 
Designer jeans are worn by everyone from spoiled 11-year-old princesses to 50-year-old women. 
