05-16-2011, 05:58 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
| | Re: Ridiculous and weird problem
Here are three basic suggestions. Two are from the forum I linked to earlier and the other is my own. The idea behind these activities is to force you out of your shell.
The first is to say 'Hello' to 50 strangers, male or female. You can do this as you walk around, buy groceries, go shopping, go to class, the gym, whatever. Some people suggest 10 'hellos' a day, others try do to all 50 at once, etc. Actually, the number doesn't matter as much as making a concious effort to be outgoing. When you pass someone on the sidewalk, don't avert your gaze or look at the ground. Look at their face and say "Hello." You have many chances each day to do this, don't skip them.
The next activity is to try to 'tack on' extra conversation to mundane activities. For example, when you are checking out from the grocery store, force yourself to ask the cashier a question. It can be small talk, about the weather, the items you're buying, whether they like to work at this store, anything.
You can find opportunities to do this during any interaction with people. Do not allow yourself to just say 'Hello' and 'Thank you' when you buy gas, eat at a restaurant, get a haircut, etc. Always try to ask at least one question not related to the task you are doing.
The last activity is probably the one which is hardest for a shy man. But it might help you the most as well: Get rejected 10 times asking for a girl's phone number. Your objective is not to actually get the number, but to be declined 10 times! This way, you have nothing to lose. At first, you will have to force the words out of your throat. By the 8th or 9th time, you will be used to saying it and you might just get a phone number. But don't stop, you have to get at least 10 rejections.
Let me know if you have any questions or thoughts.