Re: Should wife go out clubbing when husband disagrees?
You feel disrespected because you are being disrespected.
Whether she was clubbing or simply going to the library, it is enough that her saying she "is a big girl and will do whatever she wants" shows where you fall in the food chain, and it is not where you want to be as a man.
For me that alone would be invitation for her to find herself either in marriage counselling or divorce court, one or the other, as such an attitude is too immature to be in a workable marriage.
And as well, going "clubbing" in this way is for one thing, male attention. The picture alone would as well be starting the motion to separation and divorce, as no man should expect his married woman to be engaged in such nonsense, and it is as well only a matter of time before her behavior in this things winds her up in bed with some other man anyway.
For your own happiness, and if you intend to save your marriage, I strongly say to you to stand up firmly for yourself starting today.
Calmly state your position that you intend to be married to someone who will respect you and your marriage, and take steps to separate your woman from this kind of nonsense.
And hard to say but it is truth, do so with the attitude that even if it means you will start down the road to get a lawyer and pursue divorce and eventually find someone else, as much as this may sound drastic now, it is the bucket of cold water that is sorely needed.
A woman seeing she is with the kind of man that WILL stand to fight for his marriage and WILL fight for HIS own respect as well, even greatly to the point that she may end up alone, this is the woman who will think twice about the need to look for a man outside her own house!
Stand for yourself and your marriage!
I wish you well.
Decide what to be, and go be it. -Avett Brothers.