am i just being stupid?

insecure24 · 09-05-2007, 06:42 AM

This is going to sound crazy but here goes. I cant stand it when my partner watches music videos cause they are full of half naked women, its not a problem in our house as we dont have sky tv anymore but it is when we go to his mums house cause they always have them on.i always make up excuses not to go but i cant keep doing this. i cant watch anything with sex in it with my partner as i feel very uncomfortable. i check the tv to see what is on at night and if there is anything which involves sex i make sure we have it on a different channel. i cant go to bed unless he comes with me cause i'm scared he's going to watch something i wouldn't like.if i do go without him i'll stand at the top of the stairs so i can hear what he is watching. i hate him looking at pics of women, even in the paper. This has been going on for 4years now, he knows nothing about it and its driving me mad. i don't want to do these stupid things and feel like this.someone please help me x

steelcurtain · 09-05-2007, 09:18 AM

insecure24 - Well before I say that your completely overreacting you have to address an issue with yourself first. Have you been hurt in the past due to this type of behavior? and What triggers you to react this way? I would ask myself these questions first before taking it out on your mate. I think this behavior would get really old really fast you cant be so insecure, now if he was watching PORN all night that is one thing but if he is just flipping throught he channels that is another story. One note if you are looking for it then you will find it.

Funny but if I think about lets say a Toyota Camry then everywhere I look I will see one, the same might go for T&A

Keep in mind a relationship is about trust, if you trust him and he hasn't given you any reason not to then ease up and stop going out of your way to stress yourself out.

babyblues7 · 09-05-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by insecure24

This is going to sound crazy but here goes. I cant stand it when my partner watches music videos cause they are full of half naked women, its not a problem in our house as we dont have sky tv anymore but it is when we go to his mums house cause they always have them on.i always make up excuses not to go but i cant keep doing this. i cant watch anything with sex in it with my partner as i feel very uncomfortable. i check the tv to see what is on at night and if there is anything which involves sex i make sure we have it on a different channel. i cant go to bed unless he comes with me cause i'm scared he's going to watch something i wouldn't like.if i do go without him i'll stand at the top of the stairs so i can hear what he is watching. i hate him looking at pics of women, even in the paper. This has been going on for 4years now, he knows nothing about it and its driving me mad. i don't want to do these stupid things and feel like this.someone please help me x

I think the best thing for you is to try and boost your self confidence. I have found excercise is great for boosting one's self image. It seems like you have a low self image, and believe me I know all about low self images. I used to have a big self esteem problem and this helps out a lot. Try talking to your partner and seeing if maybe this can shed some light on some things, tell him that you are feeling insecure and that you just need some reassurance. It does everyone good to hear compliments. But you have to remember that you cant control everything your partner sees in reference to the opposite sex, unless he's done something to make you feel this way I think it would be a good idea to just trust him and know that he loves you, like I said talk to him, it would probably make you feel a lot better about the situation. Good luck!

janus76 · 09-07-2007, 07:08 AM

i can understand what u are feeling as i have also felt like this at times whilst in a relationship but at the end of the day he is with you and it doesnt hurt to look and its not as if he is ever gonna be with these women and also i bet there are people out there that you think are good to look at that dont look like your husband but you dont want them

tater03 · 09-08-2007, 08:03 PM

I would have to agree with what everyone posted. I don't even blink anymore when my husband looks at a good looking women on TV. Now if it were porn I think I would have a problem with that. I am just not into any of the porn and to be honest find it rather dumb and demeaning.

Wife4Life · 09-18-2007, 03:49 PM

I really think you need to talk to someone about this..

First off, looking at the opposite wether married or not; is perfectly normal and healthy! I know my hubby will notice or look at girls on tv and he will even comment however I do the same about guy or maybe I'll even agree with my hubby and say yeah she is beautiful.

Just becasue you are in a commited relationship or marriage doesn't been the blinders need to be put on when it comes to the opposite sex..It's healthy to look. The only time it is bad is when its more than looking and goes beyond flirting. That is when I would be concerned.

Personally, it sounds as if you don't trust him and are insecure about yourself. In order to have a healthy relationship you need to have many attributes within the relationship..However, not being secure and ok with who you are and not trusting you significant other is either going to drive you insane or it will drive him away!