Hello all, i will try to make this short as possible, and please don't comment with bad stuff, i know i am wrong so please dont judge me,
i was in love with a guy for 7 years, he was abusive to me, but i don't know how i loved him, i just did, and finally last year i broke up with him, but he kept going after me, threatening me to publish some videos he recorded it while we were having sex (which i didn't know of), after i broke up with him with 3 months i met a very amazing guy, he had everything i ever wanted in my next relationship, we had an amazing chemistry, he understood me he treated me well, he treated me like a princess, always attended to my needs, and accepted my past (i have family problems and an abusive parents as well), he took it all in and made me feel loved, cherished, he was the knight to me, he even helped me get my dream job, 2 months ago i was going out of my work and then my ex attacks me, i went to the hospital, it was an awful experience, but yet again i found the guy i am dating there standing next to me, taking care of me, he did all the work and got my ex to be thrown in jail, now the thing is, after that attack, i stopped feeling anything, and i found out that i never loved this guy, i just loved how he treated me, and how he took care of me, he is madly in love with me, but i don't find it in me to love him, i don't think i can find it in me to love anyone again, last week i told him that i wasn't attracted to him, and that i never loved him, and that i led him in this relationship because i wanted someone to be with me during hard times, no one ever stood by my side the way he did, i told him so many hurtful things over the phone, he told me that i broke his heart, and in my mind i don't think i am ready to date anyone right now, but at the same time i don't want to lose such a person, i also find the idea of him with another girl very irritating to me which is strange because i feel no attraction to him, please don't judge me, and put light on what should i do, i am lost, i would appreciate a female opinion more than a male's opinion, i know guys will say how cold hearted i am, but please if someone was through the same thing and can give me an advice, i would appreciate it.
thank you
i was in love with a guy for 7 years, he was abusive to me, but i don't know how i loved him, i just did, and finally last year i broke up with him, but he kept going after me, threatening me to publish some videos he recorded it while we were having sex (which i didn't know of), after i broke up with him with 3 months i met a very amazing guy, he had everything i ever wanted in my next relationship, we had an amazing chemistry, he understood me he treated me well, he treated me like a princess, always attended to my needs, and accepted my past (i have family problems and an abusive parents as well), he took it all in and made me feel loved, cherished, he was the knight to me, he even helped me get my dream job, 2 months ago i was going out of my work and then my ex attacks me, i went to the hospital, it was an awful experience, but yet again i found the guy i am dating there standing next to me, taking care of me, he did all the work and got my ex to be thrown in jail, now the thing is, after that attack, i stopped feeling anything, and i found out that i never loved this guy, i just loved how he treated me, and how he took care of me, he is madly in love with me, but i don't find it in me to love him, i don't think i can find it in me to love anyone again, last week i told him that i wasn't attracted to him, and that i never loved him, and that i led him in this relationship because i wanted someone to be with me during hard times, no one ever stood by my side the way he did, i told him so many hurtful things over the phone, he told me that i broke his heart, and in my mind i don't think i am ready to date anyone right now, but at the same time i don't want to lose such a person, i also find the idea of him with another girl very irritating to me which is strange because i feel no attraction to him, please don't judge me, and put light on what should i do, i am lost, i would appreciate a female opinion more than a male's opinion, i know guys will say how cold hearted i am, but please if someone was through the same thing and can give me an advice, i would appreciate it.
thank you