xxladyxx

ok were do i start i just want your honest veiw on this ok really would help.....

I have been talking to my 1st love for 21 years ....

We 1st got together when we was 16 but we were far to young to understand relationships etc so we seperated but never ever lost contact because there was always a strong bod between us.......

When we was in our 2o's we met up and got together but he was going through a very hard and nasty divorce, so it wasnt the right time......

we did eventualy get together a few years later and i saw him for 3 months and things were great !! but i got scared and left and couldnt tell him how i felt because i didnt feel at the time we wanted the same thing i wanted a future with him, but didnt think he wanted the same and it scared me because of how strong i felt for him.... so i brushed him off and didnt contact him for 4 months, thinking that was the best thing to do....
But then i realised i made a mistake and i truly loved him i texted him telling him i was sorry and loved him still and we talked and i found out he did want the same as i did a future etc but ...he told me he had met someone else and i had broke his heart cos he wanted to marry me etc so he did want the same thing as me......

in june i went round his house and we kissed and he told me he loved me and that i did his head in not in a nasty way but because of his feelings.....

well since thats night i have kept in contact as i wanted to prove to him how much i was sorry and how much he meant to me, it was just the odd ello now were flirting alot more, and he told me he missed me. last week..



Lastnight i went round to his as hard as it was to see him and said it had to stop because i was still in love with him and he was with someone else.... and it was breaking my heart....
we had a huge heart to heart and i asked him if he was happy and he asked me not to back him in a corner..... i asked again and kissed him and he kissed me back but then he freaked saying ok ok obviously i am not happy and he was near to tears and he ran out the house saying i was killing him and i wasn't helping him, and i didnt understand......
i was so upset to see him this way.. it was only in june he told me he loved me but when i asked lastnight he said i am not answering that one nickie.... he said i can lie to you if you want but i dont want to do that so i am not answering it.....

Anyway after he calmed down i asked why he reacted like that he said it was an emotion he hadnt felt before and it freaked him out, and to him it brought back the feeling he had for me when we were together....

Anyway i left shortly after and asked what happend now his replie was he needed to think about things he looked really upset and now i am not sure what any of that meant..... and what shale i do now ....

i can understand why did he freak lastnight?? does he still love me and has realised his not happy with his g/f and i have just opened up his emotions agan ??

he said he needs to think but what do i do how do i handle this text as i always do being happy me or dont send anything ??

janus76

i think he is still in love with you but one he feels guilty for kissing you whilst he has a g/f and two for messing you around i think he is scared of getting hurt again but wants you and is very confused the best thing to do is to give him some space and time but let him know that you want him but will let him decide so back off but be honest and tell him how you feel

xxladyxx

Hi thanks for your replie sometimes it's easier writing things downa nd getting someone else veiw on things....

I have backed off he kissed me a few times that night after he flipped..... anyway i will still let him know i am here the odd text how are you etc but its now down to him, to decide what his going to do..
I was honest that night and totaly opend my heart to him, something i have never done so i think he has a lot to think about xxx