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Very Confused, Don't know what to in my marriage

2K views 5 replies 5 participants last post by  Chris Taylor 
#1 · (Edited)
Late last year my wife told me she was rapped by someone she knew and she went to the hospital for a check up and reported to the police the next day. I was very upset of what had happen to her because she lied to me. She told me she was coming home from her mothers house but ended up coming home 5 hours later really drunk. I asked her where did she go and who she went out drinking with. She told me she left her mothers and went to a bar by herself (which I didn't believe because she has lied to me and have cheated on me multiple times). She said she was by herself drinking at a bar around where her mothers live. I ended up carrying her and putting her to bed cause she was really drunk. She fell asleep, I wanted to check her phone for messages to see if she was alone that night but I couldn't remember her password.

The next day I woke up getting ready for work and I told her how upset I was with her for coming home late and that drunk for anything bad could of happened to her. While I was at work, my wife told me she was in the hospital and for me to not get mad at her. I told her to call me and that is when she told me she was rapped. I asked her by who? First thing that came to my mind was a stranger or a cab driver cause she was really badly drunk and she told me she took a cab home. So she finally told me the truth that she was talking to a friend of hers that she met a month ago. He asked her out for drinks and she told him ok to come pick her up at her mothers and they went to a Bar in Yonkers NY, after she told me she was coming home. That day I was so tired from work I've slept all night and when I woke up after 10pm that night I've notice she wasn't home yet. I called her and even facetime her but she didn't answer. So I told her we gonna talk when I get home from work.

She reported the rape to the police and told me that she went out to drinks and when she stepped away from her drink she thinks that the guy put something in it. She thinks she was drugged. They leave the bar in Yonkers, the man drives and from what my wife told me she was in and out of consciousness and he pulled over and told her to go to the back of the truck and she said no, but woke up again in the back while he was rapping her. She told me she couldn't move or fight him off cause she was so out of it with the liquor in her system and probably the rape drug in her. After it happened he drove her home.

The reason why I am writing this is because I'm so confused. It's been 6 months since it happened and I've haven't heard anything from the Police or from the hospital about her results to see if she was drugged. I've spoken to her a couple a months ago about have she heard anything she said no. I've also asked her multiple times to see the conversations she was having with the man who rapped her and she keeps saying no I'm not ready to see it and I would get mad. Even though I feel she doesn't want to talk about it and probably is trying to forget about it, I can't. It's on my mind constantly.

Last year was a rough year for me. I've caught her cheating on me with someone from California and she even took a trip out there to have the affair. When I found out I was very upset and even gave her a chance to tell me if there was any others she cheated on me with and she said no. But I found out there was more people she had cheated on me with all the 13 years we've been married and I have a feeling there are more she hasn't confessed too. Need some advise, no one from her family side know what had happened to her and no one on my family or friends side know what had happened to her. I'm just confused I'm tired of being hurt and I love her very much but if it is all a lie I'm gone from this relationship.
 
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#3 ·
I would think that you could go to the police station and ask to see the report.

Are there any hospital charges for that night?

It does all sound fishy. She may have been raped. Few rapes are ever prosecuted. It's doubtful that the police would do anything at all.

But then again if she's a serial cheater, who knows.

If she was raped, it is affecting you too. She told you that you would not be happy about the texts between them before that night so something was going on between them before the alleged rape.

One thing what make me think she might be telling the truth is that she did not need to concoct that rape story because you had no clue she was out with some guy. So why would she make up such a complicated story when none was needed.

Have you considered doing some snooping?
 
#5 ·
I really do not mean to be nasty, but i do not think shes telling the truth, this whole thing smells fishy to me. No hospital or police reports, could this be something she just made up?... I feel really horrible saying this, as rape is such a horrible thing, and if she was then there is nothing worse, but with what you've said about her i really am questioning it.

Its all a bit vague to me. Could something have happened and shes exaggerated the truth?. Maybe she had sex with someone regretted it, and made some other stuff up?.

I think you need to get to the bottom of what happened that night, as i really do not think you will be able to move on...

Also, The fact shes cheated on you before does not give you much confidence in what she says or does.
 
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