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i feel like everyday i hate him a little more

999 views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  MarriedDude 
#1 ·
so here is the deal, we were an on and off again couple for a few years before we got pregnant. after we had our son we got married. I had already been married before and this was his first. we had a pretty ok marriage in the beginning I guess. but he has gained so much weight that there is next to no sex life. I mean he wants to continue having sex but his stomach is so big I cant even feel it so I pretty much give every excuse possible not to have to. I have mentioned that his weight was an issue. I have tried to make better cooking choices and keep only water in the house. Im not a super fit mom. Im a chunk myself so its not that being over weight is the only problem. He does NOTHING with our son unless practically forced to. The only form of affection he thinks is acceptable is to grab my boobs. Im sick of it. I am starting to resent him for everything. Am I at the end? should I just walk away now or should I stop complaining and just keep my mouth shut. Im so confused.
 
#2 ·
Ugh.. I can see why you feel the way you do.

This needs to be addressed in a very strong way. What I suggest is that you get the books "Love Busters" and "His Needs, Her Needs". Read them.

Then you have to be willing to destabilize your marriage. That means that you are willing to end the marriage if does not get fixed.

Tell him that either he works with you to fix the marriage and yourselves or you cannot see yourself staying in the marriage. Tell him that you need for him to read the books with your and do the work that they lay out. Also that you two need to go to marriage counseling.

If he refuses, then you start moving away from him... start doing things for yourself. Start losing your weight. Start going out without him (not with other men of course). Make friends, get busy. (look at Find your people - Meetup to find things to do if you need to). Leave him behind. Become someone who is very interesting, as good looking as you can be... and work to be as emotionally strong as you can.. that might mean individual counseling. Basically do everything you would do as your half of improving yourself for your marriage.

If the threat of divorce and you changing does not get his attention and wake him up that you are serious about fixing the marriage... well you are well on your way to be strong enough end the marriage.
 
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