I'm too much of a Romantic atI couldn't handle it. From him or myself.
You are correct. It's more complex than monogamy, so additional difficulties are likely. When it does work, it's wonderful, just like a good monogamous relationship is wonderful when it works. We already know that the majority of monogamous relationships fail or are plagued with problems and unhappiness too, but we all get into whatever kind of relationship appeals to us in the pursuit of happiness and other goals.Good evening
I don't think non-monogamy is "wrong" in any moral sense, but I think it does not work well for the majority of people, even those who think it will work for them.
I have poly friends and my impression is that it really isn't working out well for them.
It sounds like fun, but I know it wouldn't work for me. I can't enjoy sex without love, and I can't love multiple people without conflicts developing.
This is one of the things that is often misunderstood about poly. It is not about an absence. It is not a deficit of compatibility or anything else. I think that was even mentioned in the article. It is about the ability and desire to love more than one person. You either ARE able and DO desire, or you don't.I had an older couple give me advice. Even though I am not poly, a lot of relationship issues came up early and often. It is like a big mass of experience all at once, juggling schedules, people's needs.
But, I don't think every couple needs to go down the poly route to have a successful relationship. Some people just find someone that they are so compatible, and they never felt a need to open up the marriage.
We never ever "slept with other people". We have ALWAYS been together. Well as a choice. There were like 2 instances else-wise. They weren't that interesting.SomebodyS,
Let me try to frame what I believe you are saying.
If either you or your H were to say to the other: I'd like you to stop sleeping with anyone else, you would do so.
It is not as transactional as you make it out to be. I mean if I said I want out today, DH would be like OK. He would want to know what is going on in my mind and heart. He would wonder why I went from in love with my BF to ok I am so done. SO we would talk about it. But the very last thing DH would intentionally do is hurt me.That said I DO get the impression that folks who are polyamorous are unlikely to exercise a veto while ignoring or rejecting their partner sexually.
I have no experience with that. DH and I came to it together. We were mono for years at first, just like most folks.NS,
I didn't realize the article you posted was about the responsiblities those in that lifestyle take on. Somehow I missed that. Sorry.
I do have some thoughts.
1. Don't care what you do or others.
2. If I was out dating, I'd want to know that someone was in a poly kind of thing.
The work is full of all kinds. The only people I have experience with in RL and online have NO desire to hide. Why would they want a partner not interested in the same life as they?3. With all the negativity, how would one know they weren't getting into some poly experience, if they don't want that? Wouldn't the poly individual not want to publicize that? Seems to me the meetups would be with folks of like mind identified by previous partners?
This is just me, but I would ask them. I mean, if the person is a DB, they are probably a DB in a lot of their lives. I am not sure why this would any different.4. How can someone who does not want to get into that be reasonably sure the person they are talking with isn't into that lifestyle?
Oh. Well sorry. I explained. You want assurance that people you date won't be lying DBs about the topic of polyamory? I guess I would want the people I date not to be lying DBs about EVERYTHING.5. Please give me a little leeway here. I'm not sure about any of this. I don't understand it, do not want it explained, but want a little assurance, if I ever get to that place.
Thanks.