06-21-2011, 07:44 AM
Join Date: Jan 2011
| | Re: How do you get past lying?
When someone lies to me I either say straight up that I think what they are saying is a lie (different than labelling them a liar) or that I have my doubts based on what I've observed, or I say, really, I find that difficult to believe, or I say, you are skirting the issue/giving partial answer.
I don't act angry or anything like that.
It is my right to disbelieve especially if there is reason or facts to support the disbelief.
But honestly, you can't do anything when someone lies.
You can base your actions on what you do know to be true.
Focus more on how people treat you in the moment than what they say about the past - or the future. This releases your dependency on truth, in some part.
If you don't lie to yourself, then that is a start.
Many people do.
When they accept self-deception in this area or that area of their life and learn to observe moments of self-deception or even when they have skirted issues or misled others, then it is easier to not become completely unhinged when other people do the same.
There are of course limits to what a person can live with. But again, it is the actions rather than the lying. We can ask for truth, but to expect it and to receive it is something else entirely.
The therapy will help a lot.