Can I please ask for some advice on this as I have been left feeling very confused after a first date.
It has been 18 months since the end of LTR where I was lied to and cheated on and very badly hurt, and while I have "dated" a few people this is the first one I have felt "wow!" about and I admit my heart had become invested in this man.
We were chatting online for a long time. For reasons of us both working overseas on short term posts it took us forever to be in the country at the same time but we talked a lot...including video chatting.
We had our first date last week and I don't want to make a post that is 20 pages long to give every detail of our history - but we definitely had a few ups and downs before we met due to insecurity, feelings of pressure and jealousy. We worked through it though but I was amazingly nervous of course.
Anyway....the date went great. He did not wait until the end to kiss me, he started kissing me within 10 seconds of me arriving, then hugging me and that went on for around 10 minutes before anyone even spoke. There was just a lot of smiling, laughing, joking and we just kept looking at each other and grinning. He did not take his hands off me in some way the entire time, stroking my ears gently, kissing my forehead - affectionate for sure.
We didn't have sex (he wanted to I could tell but I wanted to wait and he was a perfect gentleman). He didn't want to go home and stayed very late, spooning, hugging, sharing jokes. He asked me when the soonest he could see me again was, I said 3 days later, we made a date and he went home.
He texted me when he got home, saying he could not wait for our next date, how lovely I was in person, and we said goodnight. In the morning he texted good morning...then he texted later in the afternoon to say he had been thinking of me since he woke up and we had a lot of conversation that day about our date, how we couldn't wait and all that.
Then the next day he turned extremely cold, total radio silence and behaved very strangely. I won't list all the detail to make it too long but I was left feeling completely confused, it made me attack him for behaving in such a way and he responded angrily. We are now not talking and the second date didn't happen.
I am not sure if either he:
a) Is playing me and had been all along
b) Is seeing someone else and saw her after me and liked her better?
c) Got jealous...because I was tagged on a night out with a handsome male friend the night after our date that I heard from other friends made us appear as a "couple"
d) Did not like me when he met me and this "big freeze" is a very cruel way of saying he does not want to see me again?
Either way, he refuses to explain, is very angry at me and is not being truthful or upfront or answering questions. I am so scared it is option D that I lack the confidence to be upfront an ask him to meet me to talk it through.
Do people exist who behave like this on a first date and then behave so strangely or do you think he has a good reason and does not want to say?
It has been 18 months since the end of LTR where I was lied to and cheated on and very badly hurt, and while I have "dated" a few people this is the first one I have felt "wow!" about and I admit my heart had become invested in this man.
We were chatting online for a long time. For reasons of us both working overseas on short term posts it took us forever to be in the country at the same time but we talked a lot...including video chatting.
We had our first date last week and I don't want to make a post that is 20 pages long to give every detail of our history - but we definitely had a few ups and downs before we met due to insecurity, feelings of pressure and jealousy. We worked through it though but I was amazingly nervous of course.
Anyway....the date went great. He did not wait until the end to kiss me, he started kissing me within 10 seconds of me arriving, then hugging me and that went on for around 10 minutes before anyone even spoke. There was just a lot of smiling, laughing, joking and we just kept looking at each other and grinning. He did not take his hands off me in some way the entire time, stroking my ears gently, kissing my forehead - affectionate for sure.
We didn't have sex (he wanted to I could tell but I wanted to wait and he was a perfect gentleman). He didn't want to go home and stayed very late, spooning, hugging, sharing jokes. He asked me when the soonest he could see me again was, I said 3 days later, we made a date and he went home.
He texted me when he got home, saying he could not wait for our next date, how lovely I was in person, and we said goodnight. In the morning he texted good morning...then he texted later in the afternoon to say he had been thinking of me since he woke up and we had a lot of conversation that day about our date, how we couldn't wait and all that.
Then the next day he turned extremely cold, total radio silence and behaved very strangely. I won't list all the detail to make it too long but I was left feeling completely confused, it made me attack him for behaving in such a way and he responded angrily. We are now not talking and the second date didn't happen.
I am not sure if either he:
a) Is playing me and had been all along
b) Is seeing someone else and saw her after me and liked her better?
c) Got jealous...because I was tagged on a night out with a handsome male friend the night after our date that I heard from other friends made us appear as a "couple"
d) Did not like me when he met me and this "big freeze" is a very cruel way of saying he does not want to see me again?
Either way, he refuses to explain, is very angry at me and is not being truthful or upfront or answering questions. I am so scared it is option D that I lack the confidence to be upfront an ask him to meet me to talk it through.
Do people exist who behave like this on a first date and then behave so strangely or do you think he has a good reason and does not want to say?