Hi everyone,
I am hoping to get some advice on my marriage. I've been married to a non-US citizen (but we live here in the US) for 5 yrs. We've been through a lot of hardship -- unemployment, immigration woes, cultural differences -- that I thought nothing could tear us apart. I love him deeply. But we married young-ish (he was 24, I was 26) and at the time we both wanted kids. At 29, he's changed his mind, just as my biological clock has gone in overdrive.
Also, I want to settle down and buy a house here in the US. He wants to live abroad a couple years, and is more interested in traveling and exploring the world than saving for a down payment. That's fair--I traveled a lot before we met and I got that out of my system, so I understand--but these 2 differences btwn us are causing a rift.
I'm starting to feel attracted to other men who own homes and want kids. It's as if they possess something magical that my husband no longer possesses for me. If my husband were to want the house and kids, my passion for him would return. But all I'm getting is, "just give me until the end of the year, after we go on all these vacations, then we'll talk about it and find a compromise". I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but how could we possibly compromise on kids? I mean that as an honest question.
I'm trying to be understanding, but at (almost) 32 my ovaries don't have all the time in the world to wait. And I'm worried about these feelings I'm developing for other men. The other night we were at a bar with one of my crushes and it was like my husband was the third wheel, in my heart at least. I've never in my life cheated and would divorce before anything actually happened, but feel awful/confused/oddly liberated/sad/addicted to these thoughts of starting over with someone who wants what I want. He repeatedly and genuinely tells me his priority is us staying together, but I can't force him to want the life I want. What should I do?
I am hoping to get some advice on my marriage. I've been married to a non-US citizen (but we live here in the US) for 5 yrs. We've been through a lot of hardship -- unemployment, immigration woes, cultural differences -- that I thought nothing could tear us apart. I love him deeply. But we married young-ish (he was 24, I was 26) and at the time we both wanted kids. At 29, he's changed his mind, just as my biological clock has gone in overdrive.
Also, I want to settle down and buy a house here in the US. He wants to live abroad a couple years, and is more interested in traveling and exploring the world than saving for a down payment. That's fair--I traveled a lot before we met and I got that out of my system, so I understand--but these 2 differences btwn us are causing a rift.
I'm starting to feel attracted to other men who own homes and want kids. It's as if they possess something magical that my husband no longer possesses for me. If my husband were to want the house and kids, my passion for him would return. But all I'm getting is, "just give me until the end of the year, after we go on all these vacations, then we'll talk about it and find a compromise". I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but how could we possibly compromise on kids? I mean that as an honest question.
I'm trying to be understanding, but at (almost) 32 my ovaries don't have all the time in the world to wait. And I'm worried about these feelings I'm developing for other men. The other night we were at a bar with one of my crushes and it was like my husband was the third wheel, in my heart at least. I've never in my life cheated and would divorce before anything actually happened, but feel awful/confused/oddly liberated/sad/addicted to these thoughts of starting over with someone who wants what I want. He repeatedly and genuinely tells me his priority is us staying together, but I can't force him to want the life I want. What should I do?