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Someone who knows you are in a relationship hitting on you?

3K views 31 replies 24 participants last post by  ConanHub 
#1 ·
Would you be offended if someone who definitely knew you were married or in a relationship hit on you? Someone comes on to you, you tell them you are married, and they say they know and come on to you again? Not in a stalker way, or even overly persistent, just that it's obvious your situation doesn't bother/dissuade them.
 
#5 ·
I tend to think that the women that have done this to me...think WAY WAY WAY too highly of themselves.

As if I would risk blowing up my family for them.....Nope.

So yes...I get offended. They are saying that they are so awesome they are worth me blowing my family up and that that I am so weak that I would risk everything for them. Insulting it be...said ye...or me (Feels like Pirate Friday).
 
#7 ·
I have this colleague at work that was persistent even tough he knew and I told him several times that I am married and not interested so I had to go to my boss( she was great with it).

I told her about him and the way he acts towards me, so she had a conversation with him and since then he is not even says hello...

And his behaviour really bothered me because he couldn't get the fact that I am serious about my relationship and in love with my husband.
 
#10 ·
Yes i would be offended. If they know that i am married then yes it would. Obviously i am wearing my engagement and wedding ring for a reason, so they should know, and apart from that fact, If i told them and they continued to pursue it i would be even more offended...

Take the hint buddy!!! :)
 
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#11 ·
Good subject. When I had a boyfriend another guy who I worked on a project/always kind to me asked me out to dinner. I told him that I had a boyfriend and he said he wouldn't have asked me out had he known but that he thought i was cool/gorgeous and he thought there was something [between us] (um, I didn't), and that he still just wanted to hang out sometime. I didn't even know how to respond so I didn't because wtf. I think it's clear when someone tells you they have a partner that they dont wanna hang.



 
#12 ·
Yes, it bothers me. This happened to me two years ago with a co-worker when I was new to the company. He even kept checking out my rings and everything -- as if I was going to take them off someday, maybe hoping for a signal? I don't know but it was weird. I always talked about Hubby and always in a good, loving way in hopes he would know by how I talked that I was happily married. Because of my job I had no choice but to interact with him but it was very awkward. One day I dropped something and he says "Oh, you don't need to get nervous because I'm here" WELL, there ya go... wide open to put him down! Then that weekend I bumped into him while Hubby & I were at the mall together. He sure got the message! Hubby & I always hold hands and joke around with each other so it was very obvious I wanted nothing to do with him. End result? He quit on Monday morning. Phew.

My job requires me to deal with the general public a lot so honestly getting hit on is nothing new to me (I'm naturally friendly and I've learned that friendly gets confused for flirting). I've learned how to handle it and still keep things friendly.
 
#13 ·
Yes, it bothers me. This happened to me two years ago with a co-worker when I was new to the company. He even kept checking out my rings and everything -- as if I was going to take them off someday, maybe hoping for a signal? I don't know but it was weird. I always talked about Hubby and always in a good, loving way in hopes he would know by how I talked that I was happily married. Because of my job I had no choice but to interact with him but it was very awkward. One day I dropped something and he says "Oh, you don't need to get nervous because I'm here" WELL, there ya go... wide open to put him down! Then that weekend I bumped into him while Hubby & I were at the mall together. He sure got the message! Hubby & I always hold hands and joke around with each other so it was very obvious I wanted nothing to do with him. End result? He quit on Monday morning. Phew.

My job requires me to deal with the general public a lot so honestly getting hit on is nothing new to me (I'm naturally friendly and I've learned that friendly gets confused for flirting). I've learned how to handle it and still keep things friendly.
Very important skill to have!!! My wife has that as well, she can be a cool customer when she needs to be...can be pretty funny to see it go down too.
 
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#16 ·
I would not say offended but there have a been a couple of men that did this to me and I took it with a grain of salt and then had no more communication.

Offensive is being sexually harassed in the work place which I had to deal with late last year. It started off fairly harmlessly and I ignored it, then the big one, he said something so unbelievably disrespectful about me in front of other people, I was humiliated and offended. Two weeks later he then proceeded to give EVERYONE at work a Christmas card except me. Passive aggressive scum bag.
 
#17 · (Edited)
I don't think I'd be offended as such, just very unimpressed with their character, and once I don't like someone, I don't put in any effort to continue the acquaintance. I'm a big believer in surrounding yourself with people who will inspire you to improve yourself, not ones who will drag you down.

Just thought I'd add that I don't see why you would get offended. That implies that you care about their opinion (that is them assuming you would be open to their advances), and why would you care about the opinion of someone like that. I've had someone say something nasty to me, I asked them if they were "trying" to insult me. The fact is, his opinion meant less to me than the dirt on my shoe, so why would anything he had to say mean anything at all?
 
#18 ·
I don't think I'd be offended as such, just very unimpressed with their character, and once I don't like someone, I don't put in any effort to continue the acquaintance. I'm a big believer in surrounding yourself with people who will inspire you to improve yourself, not ones who will drag you down.
Holland said: I would not say offended but there have a been a couple of men that did this to me and I took it with a grain of salt and then had no more communication.
thread the needle said : No. I invest no energy whatsoever in being offended. I just completely remove all respect I had for them and cut them out of my life completely like the toxic cancer that they are. They get zero from that point forward.
Like you all.. I, too, really don't understand the being Offended part so much...

I asked my Husband this question last night what his reaction would be.... oh this ought to be good... he says he would be "flattered"... even responding with "I am flattered....BUT"... telling them he was married..... I think he momentarily forgot the part that this person already KNEW he was married.. .but yeah.. that is very disrespectful TO THE SPOUSE that this person is aware of....and this is why I say it is LOW CHARACTER of anyone who would go there (like who do they think they are , trying to intrude on another's marriage)... this is what causes so much heartbreak in this world.

My husband is so respectful about something like this.. he told me when we met...one of the reasons he asked me to go with him so fast was.. had another stepped in & I was "taken"....that would have been it.. I would have been OFF LIMITS..... he respects others relationships.. he is not one to intrude in any way -if there is someone else. ..and that, to me is "Good character".
 
#20 ·
Good responses. It looks like everyone already understood it this way, but I should have included the disclaimer that the question is meant for people who are NOT open to an affair. Obviously if you're willing to have an affair, you're not going to be offended.
 
#31 ·
Good responses. It looks like everyone already understood it this way, but I should have included the disclaimer that the question is meant for people who are NOT open to an affair. Obviously if you're willing to have an affair, you're not going to be offended.
Will give you the benefit of the doubt on this one but can you elaborate further on what you mean.

Sounds like you are saying that people that don't get offended are cheaters in the making.

Will wait for your reply before bashing the crap out of you :D
 
#21 ·
Would you be offended if someone who definitely knew you were married or in a relationship hit on you?
No, I'm not going to get offended over someone else's poor taste and lack of class. If I did, I'd walk around every day constantly offended about everything around me.
 
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#22 ·
No, it doesn't offend me. That's just the price a guy pays for being a stud muffin. Women simply find candy irresistible so there's no point in a tasty piece of chocolate feeling offended. God creates people as He sees fit and His motives are not for us to question. Those poor women don't choose to be attracted. They are just responding as Nature commands. Moths are attracted to light bulbs. That's not the fault of the moth or the light bulb. Just the way things are and there's no point in the light bulb being offended by the laws of nature. LOL
 
#24 ·
I actually remember once I was very offended. Was visiting my hometown after my second son was born and the homecoming queen, came right up to me in a bowling alley and offered to go down on me. My wife was only 30 ft. away. I also felt sorry for someone that pathetic.
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#30 ·
The arrogance of some people is truly astounding. A woman started chatting up my husband one night in a bar and when he told her he was married her response was .....

"I bet I'm better looking than your wife"

The fact that there are people out there that would say something like that is shocking!
 
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