How to get my boyfreind to use more 'iniatitive'

Nat · 06-06-2011, 06:06 PM

Hey all,
I am in a new relationship, been about 4 months.
I am finding that my boyfriend wont initiate or arrange a date.
he can suggest going to a bar perhaps, but thats about it.
He is not as socialble as me and we know that he is more of an introvert and I am an extrovert.

But everyone knows, that after a while those stories get repeated, talking about your day is limited so to expand and grow you need to share new experiences or a common interest together.

Recently, he suggested meeting up on a particular evening, I said ok, you arrange it. he said 'I duno......what do you wanna do?'
I said, 'whatever you want'
He COUDLNT deal with this.

Am I going to struggle>? becuase if hes like all the time I will get bored. quickly. especially if its me always thinking of things to do. Help!

kokcarol · 06-06-2011, 06:51 PM

Maybe let him know your schedule is suddenly busy.
Make plans with friends. Get busy having fun, and he'll get over "it" quickly, or he won't. It's not your job to keep him entertained, think of things for him to do. Your job is to LIVE your life, and have fun.
So do it!

Nat · 06-06-2011, 06:57 PM

Hi Kokcarol,

I am a busy person, Its certainly not my job to keep him entertained. I meant arranging dates for the two of us. So we agree to meet up on a particular day and hes never arranges anything or he will go along with anything I say or he'll ask me what I wanna do. Which is fine, but its a bit lazy and it means hes not making much of an effort. As I menionted before, he is happier staying more than me, but I wont be happy with that I need stimulation....I have other things stimulating me I am a busy, socialble and working woman but I like to have a nice and entertaining time with my boyfreind. Its not all about sex, its about the activities leading to sex.....

Edge · 06-07-2011, 07:55 AM

My wife and I are both this way. We end up staying home half the time just because we can't think of anything we want to do. We neither one like bars or clubs. I think half our dates were dinner and a movie. But it works for us. If it is important to you then talk to him about it. Tell him you want him to set up the entire date. You could even point him towards some websites with date ideas.