I dont trust him anymore
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Old 10-17-2008, 07:17 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy I dont trust him anymore

I really dont trust him anymore.

When I herd a rumor about him cheating on me I confronted him about it.

He got mad at me saying do you really think I would cheat on you. I said no but now im not so sure.

Now I herd something else today and it is bothering me my friend asked me if i had asked him what she had told me and i said yes.

She wouldnt of known unless my fiance went to her boyfriend and confronted him.

I dont trust him and just now when I called him his phone is off, I called the house phone and his mom answered saying he was out with his friend *lets just say his name is danny* at a pool hall.

his mom tried calling him and he didnt answer the phone either.
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Old 10-17-2008, 07:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

I'm not hearing anything here to confirm he's cheating. Just because he confronted her boyfriend doesn't confirm he cheated, he may be mad it was said. Let this cool off, and then assess the FACTS. I mean facts, what you know vs what you heard. Then talk to him. If you can't trust him and he's going to cheat now, then its better you found out now. I hope you are wrong. Keep us posted.
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Old 10-17-2008, 08:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

Don't marry him!
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Old 10-17-2008, 08:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

wait, is this the guy that you got pregnant with? did he marry you or even ask?
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Old 10-17-2008, 08:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

Yes this is the guy i got pregnant with, he asked me to marry him before we found out i was pregnant. We are supposed to get married November 8th which is our annaversry. Not a big wedding just a small simple one with just his parents grandparents are siblings and mine.
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Old 10-19-2008, 12:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

I'm sorry that you have to begin your family with this over your head. Maybe he is overwhelmed at the whole daddy thing? Do you have a good relationship with his mom? Maybe you can talk to her about what's going on with him. He's not necessarily cheating, maybe just a little scared.
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Old 10-20-2008, 05:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

For what its worth my best friend was a total a-hole to his wife when she got pregnant. In fact they were BOTH equally hard on each other. He wasn't having an affair or thinking of leaving her. It was just all the emotions and stresses that caused them to always be on each others cases. Both of them.

Second, You and your future husband FAIL at communication. I said it before and I'll say it again. GO TO A PRE-MARITAL COUNSELOR! You both have no major bills and live with your parents, so there is no excuse! They will help you build a stronger foundation for communication that you both seem to lack right now.

Third, This guy is a soon to be father and maybe a soon to be husband. He needs to man-up and put up some boundaries with who his friends are. If one of his friendships makes you uncomfortable, guy or girl, then he has remember he is choosing you, HIS future twins, and your insecurities. And he NEEDS to respect that. HE is making the decision, no one is forcing him too. Maybe after you have your kids and have gone to counseling with him and have had the plethora of experiences coming your way you wont care if he hangs with some chick. But now you do, and he chose you, so he has to take everything that comes with it.
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

Quote:
Originally Posted by Smile_Jenny View Post
I really dont trust him anymore.

When I herd a rumor about him cheating on me I confronted him about it.

He got mad at me saying do you really think I would cheat on you. I said no but now im not so sure.

Now I herd something else today and it is bothering me my friend asked me if i had asked him what she had told me and i said yes.

She wouldnt of known unless my fiance went to her boyfriend and confronted him.

I dont trust him and just now when I called him his phone is off, I called the house phone and his mom answered saying he was out with his friend *lets just say his name is danny* at a pool hall.

his mom tried calling him and he didnt answer the phone either.
I don't know your background about your relationship with your fiance, but if it was me, I would have never confronted him without knowing for sure that he was cheating. And if I was unsure of his honesty, I hate to say it, BUT I would check to see if his stories check out. I.e. is he where he says he is? Is he with the person that he says he is with? Etc. I would also probably check his voice mail, text messages, and e-mail. But that is just me. I am too curious to let it go by just asking him. Again, that is just me.

I definitely think premarital counseling is a good idea. I have been married for 4 years and wished my husband did not talk me out of it when we were engaged.
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Old 10-20-2008, 12:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

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Originally Posted by loveandmarriage View Post
I don't know your background about your relationship with your fiance, but if it was me, I would have never confronted him without knowing for sure that he was cheating. And if I was unsure of his honesty, I hate to say it, BUT I would check to see if his stories check out. I.e. is he where he says he is? Is he with the person that he says he is with? Etc. I would also probably check his voice mail, text messages, and e-mail. But that is just me. I am too curious to let it go by just asking him. Again, that is just me.
I'm sorry that you have to be this way with your husband. I had always left myself very open and approachable to my wife when she had any insecurities. She was also very good at addressing her insecurities in a non offensive and NON ASSUMING manner. (Unfortunately she did not feel the same dynamic should have gone the other way around, this is why I addimently suggest pre marital counseling; to avoid this.). I will say, if I found out my wife was checking up on me without just asking, I would feel hurt and let down. What is trust if your not actually trusting the other person but just monitoring them?
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Old 12-01-2008, 09:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I dont trust him anymore

i know what you are going through. just stay strong. this is something nobody else can help you with. set him up. text message him from someone elses phone ssaying you got his number from such and such. flirt with him and see if he flirts back. if he does confront him on it and leave his sorry ass
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