Hi all,
First post so please be kind!
My wife and I have been married for nearly 3 years, but together for 11 in total. We're both 30.
She has a sister she's close to, and they and the rest of their friends still enjoy a night out at a club or pub a few times a month without me.
In the past she has had her fair share of indiscretions - nothing concrete, but a number of photos have appeared on social networking of her appearing to be friendly with random men. She knows that I find this sort of behaviour inappropriate, but argues that she has a right to enjoy herself and doesn't see any harm in being friendly with people when she's out. I now know that her friends have set up privacy on social networks so that I can't see things they post on a night out. I'm ashamed to say it, but once I managed to see some and, although i thought they were unacceptable, did not provide any concrete proof of cheating.
Last weekend we went out for a friends engagement in Manchester, and my wife and her sister went to the bar for some drinks, and I noticed them chatting and laughing with a couple of other men that weren't with us. After ten minutes or so I stepped in and led my wife away. Her defence was that her sister was drunk and she was trying to coax her away, although it didn't seem like that.
Anyway, I shamefully checked my wife's phone the next day and found a text to her sister "[me] not happy about us chatting to blokes at bar - little does he know!".
I'm upset at the audacity of doing that when I was there, and makes me wonder what happens when I'm not, although I have no concrete proof either way. Should I confront, and give away the fact that I've read her messages? Could be perfectly innocent i.e. "little does he know they were gay" - but how likely is this? How does this sound to you? I've always had trust issues, but my wife's viewpoint is that just because she's married it doesn't mean she can go out and enjoy herself.
Any thoughts are appreciated before I go mad!
Cheers,
Paul
First post so please be kind!
My wife and I have been married for nearly 3 years, but together for 11 in total. We're both 30.
She has a sister she's close to, and they and the rest of their friends still enjoy a night out at a club or pub a few times a month without me.
In the past she has had her fair share of indiscretions - nothing concrete, but a number of photos have appeared on social networking of her appearing to be friendly with random men. She knows that I find this sort of behaviour inappropriate, but argues that she has a right to enjoy herself and doesn't see any harm in being friendly with people when she's out. I now know that her friends have set up privacy on social networks so that I can't see things they post on a night out. I'm ashamed to say it, but once I managed to see some and, although i thought they were unacceptable, did not provide any concrete proof of cheating.
Last weekend we went out for a friends engagement in Manchester, and my wife and her sister went to the bar for some drinks, and I noticed them chatting and laughing with a couple of other men that weren't with us. After ten minutes or so I stepped in and led my wife away. Her defence was that her sister was drunk and she was trying to coax her away, although it didn't seem like that.
Anyway, I shamefully checked my wife's phone the next day and found a text to her sister "[me] not happy about us chatting to blokes at bar - little does he know!".
I'm upset at the audacity of doing that when I was there, and makes me wonder what happens when I'm not, although I have no concrete proof either way. Should I confront, and give away the fact that I've read her messages? Could be perfectly innocent i.e. "little does he know they were gay" - but how likely is this? How does this sound to you? I've always had trust issues, but my wife's viewpoint is that just because she's married it doesn't mean she can go out and enjoy herself.
Any thoughts are appreciated before I go mad!
Cheers,
Paul