My wife and I have been married for almost 4 years. We got married young (19 and 17) and have two children now.
The change began with her suddenly getting a new friend at work. Her new friend got her into a group of friends (all women) who wanted her to hang out with them.
The bad change happened because we both ALWAYS agreed that we would never drink alcohol. I come from a family that drinks alot and she comes from one where no one drinks so we decided that we didnt need it in our lives because stupid things happen when you are drunk.
Her friend though (I believe anyway) was the one that convinced her that she should try alcohol. So one day she tells me that she thinks she wants to try it, which caught me off guard and I didn't like it at first but she said "Its ok, I'm not saying I want to anytime soon. Just before I'm 30 I might happen to have tried a sip of one."
So I let it go. A couple months later and her 21st is coming up. (later this week actually) And she mentioned something about alcohol and I asked if her friends wanted to take her out on her 21st to get her to drink. She said "No, I wouldn't go even if they wanted me to. I want it to just be me and you around the house."
Then the other day she says "Actually, they want me to go out with them the day after my birthday so we can celebrate." I asked her if they were going to make her try adrink and she said no. Later that night she then changed and said "Probably, a sip or two of some drinks. But I would NEVER get drunk. Thats not me."
So here is my problem: I know its just drinks but I feel like she is changing and I don't know how to cope.
I believe I should let her go and try it because I don't want to be that guy who is conrtolling but I've been very frustrated lately. Mostly because she went from never wanting to drink and agreeing with me to "Maybe by the time I'm thirty I might have a sip" to "I would never go out with my friends to drink" to "I'm going out with my friends but I'm not going to drink" then to "Actually I am going to drink", all in about 4 months. I just need help on how to cope with this change.
Like I said I believe I should let her go with them and try it out. I just have bad anxiety and my brain is thinking that if she did all that in a month how am I suppose to know in a week she wont suddenly want to get drunk and go out more often.
That tends to be my biggest problem. Letting my brain run out of control and say things like "well she sais this and changed her mind about 4 times so what is stopping her from doing it again and again" I know change is inevitable I just want to know if I am freaking out too much and should just calm down and if I am also how to cope with change in your spouse. Specifically change you don't like.
She is a WONDERFUL wife and I love her. Its just this one thing that is giving us a bump in the road.
Please help!
The change began with her suddenly getting a new friend at work. Her new friend got her into a group of friends (all women) who wanted her to hang out with them.
The bad change happened because we both ALWAYS agreed that we would never drink alcohol. I come from a family that drinks alot and she comes from one where no one drinks so we decided that we didnt need it in our lives because stupid things happen when you are drunk.
Her friend though (I believe anyway) was the one that convinced her that she should try alcohol. So one day she tells me that she thinks she wants to try it, which caught me off guard and I didn't like it at first but she said "Its ok, I'm not saying I want to anytime soon. Just before I'm 30 I might happen to have tried a sip of one."
So I let it go. A couple months later and her 21st is coming up. (later this week actually) And she mentioned something about alcohol and I asked if her friends wanted to take her out on her 21st to get her to drink. She said "No, I wouldn't go even if they wanted me to. I want it to just be me and you around the house."
Then the other day she says "Actually, they want me to go out with them the day after my birthday so we can celebrate." I asked her if they were going to make her try adrink and she said no. Later that night she then changed and said "Probably, a sip or two of some drinks. But I would NEVER get drunk. Thats not me."
So here is my problem: I know its just drinks but I feel like she is changing and I don't know how to cope.
I believe I should let her go and try it because I don't want to be that guy who is conrtolling but I've been very frustrated lately. Mostly because she went from never wanting to drink and agreeing with me to "Maybe by the time I'm thirty I might have a sip" to "I would never go out with my friends to drink" to "I'm going out with my friends but I'm not going to drink" then to "Actually I am going to drink", all in about 4 months. I just need help on how to cope with this change.
Like I said I believe I should let her go with them and try it out. I just have bad anxiety and my brain is thinking that if she did all that in a month how am I suppose to know in a week she wont suddenly want to get drunk and go out more often.
That tends to be my biggest problem. Letting my brain run out of control and say things like "well she sais this and changed her mind about 4 times so what is stopping her from doing it again and again" I know change is inevitable I just want to know if I am freaking out too much and should just calm down and if I am also how to cope with change in your spouse. Specifically change you don't like.
She is a WONDERFUL wife and I love her. Its just this one thing that is giving us a bump in the road.
Please help!